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Joe Schmoe
Level 14 (Defender), Male
Exiles
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Citizen
- Joe Schmoe was last seen:
- Sep 22, 2024
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Forum Threads Posts Debates & Discussions 13 318 World Mechanics 20 Disagreements 1 11 Cradle Series by Will Wight 3 The Land 2 The Tavern 1 -
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Caffeinated Red Ball of Heart Palpitations
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsEnergy ball. +100 mg of Caffeine while in your inventory! Stacks with itself!
Warning: Too many Caffeinated Red Balls can causes your body to involuntarily vibrate. -
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Broken Gloves
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorA set of broken gloves. Maybe if they get repaired they might give you a quest, or become part of a set. -
Wolframite Rapier
Mar 10, 2020, WeaponsCapable of piercing the hearts of great demons, this blade refuses to melt even under the most intense heat. -
Adventurer's Skull
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsThe skull of an adventurer who thought to steal from the wyvern's hoard. Excellent for decorative purposes! -
Dragon's Fire
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA heart-stone imbued with dragon's fire. Useful for a weapon or various alchemical processes. -
Wyvern Scales
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorThe shed scales of a wyvern. Quite useful for making various forms of armor that protect against dragons and their kin. -
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Obolus
Mar 10, 2020, CoinsA silver coin used in the Skyship cities of the Exiles and Sojourners fantasy series.
1 Drachma = 10 Oboloi = 100 Chalkoi -
Drachma
Mar 10, 2020, CoinsA golden coin used in the Skyship cities from the Exiles and Sojourners fantasy series.
1 Drachma = 10 Oboloi = 100 Chalkoi -
Chalkus
Mar 10, 2020, CoinsA copper coin used in the Skyship cities from the Exiles and Sojourners fantasy series.
1 Drachma = 10 Oboloi = 100 Chalkoi -
Airmen's Flying Harness
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorA set of leather straps around a small ballast crystal that can cause you to float, as long as the ballast crystal has energy. For those that are magi, they can charge the crystal, but it also has controls for those that can't add or remove power on their own. There are slots for containment crystals that can store extra power and a small glove that controls the ballast's power. It also has a tiny spell folded pouch that holds an emergency parachute. -
Worn pair of Flyer's goggles.
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA used pair of goggles that have been repaired and re-enchanted many times. It has the ability to tint when looking into the sun, as well as a series of enchantments that allow the wearer to track the winds like a zepherscope, but on a much smaller scale and with no zoom. -
Flask of Kava
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA small pressurized flask that is enchanted to keep it's contents warm. Kava is a common stimulant, that has a dark brown texture and tastes bitter. Xantar has added her own herbs and spices into the brew to make it more potent. -
Used Typewriter
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsThis ancient machine will allow you entry into the Aspiring Writer Guild! -
Acutus
Mar 10, 2020, WeaponsThe unique blade that cuts through atoms. As featured in 'The Siege of Mettleburg'
(Gives xp if you own it long enough.) -
Charlie Jindrak's Infinite Gravity Bag of Holding
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsCharlie Jindrak is a lot of things. In one reality, he is a Wizard. While he would never be caught dead in a corny wizard hat, he will never be without his Infinite Gravity Bag of Holding. If you can fit it through the opening, the item becomes weightless allowing you to carry it without hindrance.
Alas, you are not Charlie Jindrak, thus it isn't attuned to you. While you may not benefit from an entirely weightless bag in this universe, your character in Paradox Online can at least carry double their strength rating in this bag without penalties. -
Stat Buff
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsFeeling down? Drinking this drink will give yourself a stat buff. Doesn't actually do anything, but transfer a few gold from your pocket to mine. But it's all in how you look at it. If this were a Pokemon, you'd buy it just because. Be the first to CATCH EM' ALL!! -
Unbreakable Coffee Mug of Smack Talk!
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsThat's right! This magical cup sends a clear message to your target. That is, you'll hit them over and over with it til they understand the message. It works telepathically. They will understand the message, though it's unclear if the wielder will know what the message is, if the target really understands it, or even how many hits it takes to activate and get the message across.
Limited Edition, once it's gone, it's gone. -
Writer's Robe of Optimism
Mar 10, 2020, ClothesThis awesome robe is made of the nicest softest bastet fur. Once you put it on, you gain the ability to write. And write you will if nothing else than a bad check because of the optimism that this Robe will bring you. +10 to optimism.
Downside, it's so soft, it's almost impossible to take off. You'll have to spend some willpower to take it off to shower. On the other hand, you are a writer. You only need to do that once every two weeks after you've cut your grass. -
Bone Dragon Mount
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorForget warded walking shoes, buy yourself a mount and you won't even have to walk. I don't even have to mention how freagin' awesome owning a Pet Bone Dragon is. -
AOL 6.0 CD
Mar 10, 2020, SoftwareThe decryption code buried within the front-end software for America's first experience with a corporate owned internet will allow you entrance into a hidden sub-forum at LitRPG Forum.. Only rumors exist of The Metaverse, but you're sure this is the way deeper into the website. You count out the gold, hoping it's not a pirated or cursed version. There's this Dwarven Axe everyone keeps warning you about. It's only twenty gold. What could go wrong? -
Old Mac
Mar 10, 2020, ComputersAs you bend over and peer at the screen, you wonder if the machine even works. Then you notice the familiar retro feel of the cleverly crafted hardware. (Quest: We clipped the mouse out of the photo because of where the tech came from originally. And because we needed a square image. Gold to anyone who goes to the Thieves Guild and starts a thread naming the source of the mouse technology we all use today. Well, sometimes, before we moved to our thumbs/fingers to communicate on mobile devices. Anyway, this grants access to the [Unofficial] Mac User Group in The Metaverse. It's a place for all things Apple. Enjoy your vintage Mac! (NOTE: Must also own an AOL 6.0 CD) -
Boots of the Sneak
Mar 10, 2020, ClothesThese stylish boots point out the fact you're involved in thievery, but you don't care because of the permanent +2% steal chance. Only so many pairs are available at a time. -
Butterfly Tattoo
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsIn the back of the shop, @Felicity Weiss employs a halfling tattoo artist named Carnie who will carve an intricate design into your arm. She only does one tat which kinda looks like a butterfly-creature-thing.
This will change your postbit to #D67AFB. -
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A scrap of paper
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsFour numbers separated by periods (written in crayon)
Grants access to the Doktor Urmind's Hacker Chat forum. -
Lich Bitch Beer
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA dark beer with the souls of the damned swirling in the frothy drink.
+2 to Stamina
+1 to Singing skill
Disgust Alert to any paladins/clerics within ten feet. -
Mimic on the Beach
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA mixed drink that can be any drink you wish.
+3 Stamina
+5 to Singing Skill
+2 Libido
-1 to Speech -
Beholder Brew
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA kaleidoscope of effects for those needing a break from reality. Please roll a 1d10 after you take a sip for effect or one will be chosen for you.
1- Sing like a fallen angel +3
2- Turn into a frog, -5 to the ladies, +5 to the gents
3- Staff of Morning Wood. Men get +5 to bulge in their pants. Women get +10 and grow one.
4- Natural Breast Enhancement, +5 for women. +10 for men and they grow a pair.
5- Disco Light, +4 to Dance skill.
6- Mustache of Attraction, +5 to attract either sex with you new mustache.
7- Mer goggles, every one looks like a mermaid, -2 for the fish smell.
8- Wrath of the Libido- +10 to your sick perversions you animal.
9- Lips of fortitude, +10 to your Sucking skill.
10- Wilting Forest- can't get hard, can't get wet, you give up on your dreams and go back to law school. -
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Ancient Sword
Mar 10, 2020, WeaponsThis relic isn't worth much for battle or anything other than being a safe investment for your well earned or ill-gotten gold. You notice that the buyback price is actually the same as the purchase price. You take out your gold and buy one before they're all gone. -
Gem of Flirting
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsA small jewel to woo peasants who have never seen something sparkle -
Werewolf fur
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsGreat for rituals and potions! Top quality Only! (Origin: Lupus Commonus) -
Necklace of DrOgan ToUth
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorBecause sometimes you need to show off but you are poor and weak (Made in goblintown) -
Rubber Kraken
Mar 10, 2020, ItemsDear captain, you ship was sunk by a terror of the see? Here, look at that rubber kraken! comes with spike and a free harpoon to show it who is the king of the sea! -
Double, double toil and trouble
Mar 10, 2020, ScrollsBest starting pack for witches in the land (includes a free eye of Newt) is on sale today only! -
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Long Scarf
Mar 10, 2020, ClothesAttached to this long scarf, hidden from view except from the careful eye, you spy a key to the Tardis. Seeking adventures through time and space, you offer to buy the Fourth Doctor's scarf for a measly 50 gold. To your utter surprise, he agrees, taking it off and tossing it in your direction. (Grants access to Inside the Tardis.) -
Cloak of Beauty
Mar 10, 2020, ArmorThis cool black cloak will make you the envy of all your peers. (Adjusts your Username Style!) -
Acutus
Feb 19, 2020, WeaponsThe unique blade that cuts through atoms. As featured in 'The Siege of Mettleburg'
(Gives xp if you own it long enough.) -
Eyes of Seeing
Feb 19, 2020, ItemsA pair of magical lenses that allow you to see into the world of Epic.
Specifically, you will be granted access to the "Conor Kostick: The Siege of Mettleburg Offer" forum in the Hall of Heroes. There you will receive special instructions for accessing your free copy of the book. -
Orb of Scrying into Edda
Feb 19, 2020, ItemsA crystal ball that looks into the world of Edda. Find the forum to use it... -
Epic Paintbrush
Feb 19, 2020, ItemsA paintbrush that produces artwork from the covers of Epic, Saga and Edda. Purchase it and find the right forum to use it... -
Sword of Sands
Feb 19, 2020, WeaponsFeatured in Human, Tower of Gates Book Two, this weapon grants you access to the Paul Bellow Guild. -
Wizard Hat
Feb 19, 2020, ItemsThis generic wizard hat is mass produced, but the quality is nice and the price can't be beat. This will change your User Title Style. You can turn it on and off. -
Discarded Newspaper
Feb 19, 2020, ItemsAre you a news junkie? Information hound? Want to know the whole story? This old school newspaper will open up The Newsroom here at LitRPG Forum, for people wanting a possibly edited and easily digested summary of the week's news? Or a faster pace? With this newspaper, you can join other like-minded individuals and help shape something special. -
Beta Blade
Feb 19, 2020, WeaponsThe hilt looks like an eye on this blade because as a beta reader, your eagle eyes are highly valued. Buy this item to let authors and others know you're up for beta reading something until it moves no more. (Adds you to the group Beta Reader. You will get a badge.) -
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