A Question for authors and readers of GameLit

Discussion in 'GameLit' started by Tom Gallier, Feb 26, 2018.

  1. Tom Gallier

    Tom Gallier Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I am working on my outline for book 2 in the Hidden Realms series. I keep adding, removing one plot line. The plot line makes me anxious, but that is not why I keep removing it. Things that worry me meana tension for the reader, too. I hope.

    Basically, the lead female character is captured and TURNED via magic. She is ordered to disrupt the efforts of our intrepid heroes, including her boyfriend the main character. That makes me anxious enough, but there is a "good" characters who will go against our heroes, and I keep thinking my magically turned heroine should be the one to convince him to revolt. She'll do that by seducing him.

    And THAT is what messes up my head. The female (romantic) lead betraying the male lead like that, even though she is being forced to do so by magic.

    My question is... Is that a NO GO in Gamelit? I know it is TABOO in romance. Since I've read very few GameLit books with a MC with a girlfriend (not counting harem books), I don't know if that would be a killer for the readers. So I ask you guys.

    Go, or no go with that plot line?
     
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  2. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen

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    Yeah, this is not romance (Thankfully! haha)...

    What do your characters tell you?
     
  3. Tom Gallier

    Tom Gallier Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    My characters say it needs to be done, but I don't want to alienate readers.
     
  4. TWErvin2

    TWErvin2 Level 7 (Cutpurse) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Does the female lead fight against it, or plot to redeem herself and set things straight, or is she just turned and there is not hope of 'redemption'?
     
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  5. DJ Schinhofen

    DJ Schinhofen Creator of Worlds. LitRPG Author Roleplaying Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    What TWErvin asks, do we get the look inside her head where she hates it and is fighting it as best she can, does she get redemption later, and how does that change her personality wise. It's mental rape after all, how does she respond to knowing she was victimized? How does the MC act about her 'betrayal', if he is upset with it, it will only make her victimization worse. Lots of things that should be looked at if you go that route.
     
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  6. Tom Gallier

    Tom Gallier Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Great feedback.

    She will be "subjugated" by means introduced in the first book. The Dark Lord of the book embeds enchanted crystals into the forehead of useful warriors. They still have a lot of free will, but are completely obedient to the Dark Lord. If I write this plot line in, she will be ordered to accomplish a dead, and it is up to her to work out how she does it. Ultimately, in the end, it should work out for all the characters. The MC will find a way to free the Dark Lord's subjugated minions, and thus free her.

    One reason I ask this question is I think I might be reading too much grimdark lately. Maybe I'm being too cruel to my characters?
     
  7. Windfall

    Windfall Level 8 (Thug) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    It won't bother me at all if it's handled well and maturely.

    It depends on whether the FMC is put in the position of a damsel or not. Although she is controlled by the Dark Lord, she should be shown to be trying to fight it and also play a part in freeing herself and not wait for the MC to do all the work.

    For example, I'd be fine with any of the following scenarios:
    - FMC manages to leave clues for the MC or find weakness in the Dark Lord's army that helps bring victory in the end
    - FMC 'resists' the magic at the last minute and sacrifices herself to save the MC from the Dark Lord's trap she helped set, and the MC manages to survive the death blow and then saves her (mutual saving and happy ending = win)
    - You manage to show how FMC fully believes that what she is doing is correct and is in the MC's best interest [but then after she is freed from the magic she will need time to be distraught] -- In this case I'd go for a 'test scenario' -- something like the Dark Lord orders her to kill him, and she 'misses', and MC comes up with a heartfelt romantic killer line, and then tears roll down her cheek... oh wait, it's not a romance...

    Anything is fine as long as it's done well, IMHO.
     
  8. MrPotatoMan

    MrPotatoMan Level 12 (Rogue) Citizen

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    I think its ok if you do two things
    1) wrap it up soonish or ignore the FMC for most of the book otherwise its a really annoying cliffhanger that just becomes a detractor
    2) a lot of what people are saying is the FMC needs to resist and i agree but i think you should also take into account the psycilogical impacts of being forced to seduce someone against your will after shes freed she will be just as much a victim as everyone else probably more so i suggest you emphasise her pain if you can so it dosnt feel like she just dosnt care
     
  9. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill Editor Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    This. So much this.
     
  10. MrPotatoMan

    MrPotatoMan Level 12 (Rogue) Citizen

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    well no you just cant mix Pokemon with the roman legion cant be done
     
  11. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill Editor Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Bet you it can be done.
     
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  12. FrustratedEgo

    FrustratedEgo Level 10 (Filcher) LitRPG Author Roleplaying Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Having seen mind control type elements used in many books, it can be done well, it can be done bad, and it can be done in such a way that it kicks you in the balls and you never forget the story.

    It is super dangerous as such topics will absolutely polarize an audience if it's a key event. Like those above said, it "can be done" and as long as it's "done well" you'll be on the right track. But another angle to think about it "what do you want the reader to feel" as a result. Do you want them upset and shaking until they read the next part. Is the goal to make them emphasis with the main character. Is it in first person, is it in third, is the mind control issue revealed shortly there after or hinted at in any way? If it's first person following one MC, head hopping just to show she was trying to avoid it is hard. It sounds like this is third since these elements (the crystal) is set up from the start.

    Anyway, Grimdark type stories can be gut shaking - just depends on which elements get put in. Head hoping into someone's mind as they're trying to fight betrayal would make me sick - but lots of people love anything dark feeling, so what do I know?
     
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  13. Cadwe

    Cadwe Arrogant cheeky Dragon Lord Roleplaying Shop Owner Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    As said above, The most importan is the flow of the story. As long as its done well, its a go
     




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