A Serious Discussion About Elves

Discussion in 'The Tavern' started by Jun, May 31, 2018.

  1. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I just posted this to my personal Facebook, but I'm cross posting here because I it's a sensitive topic that deserves thoughtful discussion...

    Serious question.... How the hell did elves end up in a tree baking cookies? Was this derived from a Santa thing? I think it's the kids that were supposed to be filling the old man's cookie quota.

    Maybe they are rebels who built a ship in secret, before finally saying "f**k you Santa! We aren't your slaves!"

    Then when they got to the real world they needed money, so they latched on to the cookie think knowing that every year there'd be a guaranteed market. I mean... why would they go back to building toys, when their enslaved cousins were giving them away for free every year? Can't compete with free.

    ... as for the tree...

    Not too many trees at the North Pole.... Camouflage? If the big fat man came looking, he might assume they'd stick to the familiar - houses and igloos. Who'd think an arctic elf would set up shop inside the one common thing their homeland doesn't have?

    Also, what's their relationship to the Rice Krispies triplets? Abandoned children, or brave free spirits that decide to take the family business a new direction? Are those Cinnamon Toast Crunch guys changelings?
     
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  2. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    One of my FB friends just offered another possibility...

    Two different clans of elves, the Ke'bla and San'ta. A blood feud could be extremely messy.

    Edit:

    ... or delicious.
     
  3. A J Bishop

    A J Bishop Level 9 (Burgler) Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I can answer the Rice Krispies one without even joking!
    The trio of brothers were 'adopted' from a magazine publication that was about to go bust at the time, the company bought the presses for box printing and they in turn purchased the characters.

    So in a very real sense - those triplets were adopted by humans and into the family business.
     
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  4. Jason Maskell

    Jason Maskell Level 11 (Thief) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Can we talk about how elves suck here? Is this an elf-diss safe space?

    Elves. Taller, smarter, classier, and more beautiful. Oh and they live forever. Humans, but better. f**k elves, y'all.
     
  5. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I like the think of Dwarves as the Benders of the Fantasy universe because they're just as long lived, but didn't get the good looks. Imagine if you will, their first meeting in fantasy race camp.

    "Oh, we're shorter than you and have facial hair? Fine! Keep your trees and your nature. We didn't want to climb anyways. We'll go find a new place to live, and there'll be gems and beer. You know what? Forget the gems until after the beer!"

    Edit: Reasoning for why they're Bender.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2018
  6. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Now you're just getting me hungry. Hell, throw another Elf on the grill! Got some nice mustard based BBQ sauce, goes great with the little leaf and nut munchers.
     
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  7. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Break out the halfling brownies, and we've got a party!

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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  9. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I caught an elf once. She was apparently stuck in a hole.
    [​IMG]
     
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