Freehaven Online: Winter Dungeonland (Book 3)

Discussion in 'Works in Progress' started by Jun, Jun 7, 2018.

  1. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Progress:

    Introduction: 4th Wall Breaking - Mapped Out

    Hello from Justine acknowledging some readers/listener as holiday purchasers who have no idea about the journey thus far. She fills them in on being trapped in VR for over a month, the stolen technology resulting in 'enhancements' to the game like being locked in, and hidden ways to make food that actually tastes like someone, and people thought to have died during the digitization process being rescued from in-game Hades, where they find the start of the current quest which promises to unlock the logout button.

    TLDR version - bring them up to speed for if holiday purchases that haven't read the first two novels. My goal is to drive holiday read buys for December Audible.

    Plot


    Major quest mapped out that guides the plot of the book. Time to visit the North Pole.

    Cover Design

    First draft:

    I'm open for comments, and would very much appreciate feedback since I'm on the fence about it.

    [​IMG]

    First cover draft doesn't quite look how I managed. I asked for a palette of "Wintery Blues and Whites" but the green in the middle makes me think of a fish tank (albeit a very cold fish tank) rather than Christmas and Hallmark holiday cheer.

    There's a reason why I chose a male for the cover this time - a certain obsessive someone is finally on a quest to get their big reward.

    I sent them sample images of Christmas trees I liked from the website they source images from, but they ignored all of them. : / I was imagining contrasting the holiday light, cheer, and festivity from the tree with the sinister silhouette of the dragon, and the dude ready to do battle.

    As it is, the with a tree in silhouette there's a distinct absence of "holiday cheer," which is unfortunate because while there is lots of battle, monster fighting, and imprisoning a Santa (who has turned temporarily evil before the holiday), the story line is quite whimsical.
     
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  2. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Nice cover. Shooting for a holidays launch?
     
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  3. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Yeah. If all goes well, I'm hoping to do a pre-order set for December 1st.
     
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  4. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Break a keyboard!

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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  6. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    STalling a bit on the start of this one because I'm still figuring out the cast.

    So far I have:
    Mel (obviously)
    Frobod (obviously)
    Mirae (Seems like I should use her since we just got her back plus, there's the whole mummy thing)
    Tako (If Mirae goes he has to also... Plus, I like having a smart ass in the group. )

    One more slot... I'm thinking maybe Lilly since book 4 is going to be a split PoV and Pehrom. I need to give some though to her "Class" (which don't exist in my game) and fighting style... I'm thinking maybe like a Rogue/Mage, or maybe a Freeworld Para-human like a vampire.
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2018
  7. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Giving my first two pages the stink eye. That's a lot of f'bombs for the start of a Christmas novel.
     
  8. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Hmmm.. My books usually get off to a fast start but for some reason I seem to be stumbling on this one with the opening events that lead to the actual quest. I guess for the time being I'll blow up some turkeys.
     
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  9. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I named the final Thanksgiving boss Turkakodzilla....
     
  10. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    This Thanksgiving turkey battle is getting way more in depth than I anticipated.

    We have elemental fire, cold, dark, and acid breathing turkeys, a bird with a chrome head that acts like a battering ram causing knockback, and finally Turkakodzilla which is like a 30 foot tall monster turkey.

    <3 Seasonal events.
     
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  11. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Try to fit in a cranberry sauce joke? ;p
     
  12. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Thanksgiving boss Turkakodzilla is eating up a lot of words. Sheesh.
     
  13. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    My adorable boisterous married goblin couple:
    Lilly: "If I had a quarter for every time this guy over here messed something up with his user interface..."
    Pehrom: "You'd have seventy-five fuckin' cents!"
     
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  14. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I love when my characters make me laugh. Heh.
     
  15. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I'm don't smoke pot, but I find stoner humor amusing...



    Annette looks to me with a question smeared across her face, "I'm not sure if I should have said this sooner but, I'm Jewish. Is that okay?"

    Frobod shifts on his bike, "What difference does that make?"

    "You know.. Christmas, Santa Claus. Can I still do Santa? Wasn't sure if there was some kind of religious exclusion."

    Lilly says, "Yer in Haven now kid, there is no Santa. We got Winter Festival and Great Uncle Winter."

    Tako pulls a red Santa hat from his inventory and places it on his head. "I don't care what you say. Great Uncle Winter is Santa."

    Annette looks to me for clarification. "If it helps, we're progressive Jews. We still did Santa back home. We'd put out the menorah, some 'Ho ho ho!' cookies, and a pile of joints with a card that said 'Dear Santa, Have a happy Hanukkah and smoke our marijuanaka." with the hope he'd leave some presents.

    Tako perks up. "Did it work?"

    With Satan's spinach long decriminalized, the stigma associated with smoking pot has long since evaporated.

    Annette grins, "Every year."
     
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  16. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Got a brilliant new idea for a class/play style that I've never seen before, but need to figure out how to work it into the story so that obtaining it fits within the wintery/Christmas theme of the novel.
     
  17. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    It's an elephant sized hippopotamus with a whale's tail, and human sized baby head that pukes acidic rainbows every time it screams.

    Yeah... "The Flux Place" is like a bad acid trip.... or so I'm told.
     
  18. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    My god... that's the stuff of nightmares.
     
  19. Jun

    Jun Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Its breath smelled of Pina Colada.
     
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  20. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    How's everything been, @Jun ?
     




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