Funny quotes from books you are reading.

Discussion in 'The Tavern' started by Wolfgarr, Aug 24, 2017.

  1. Wolfgarr

    Wolfgarr Level 7 (Cutpurse) Roleplaying LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    "Mom was always in a hurry. Her job as a lawyer kept food on the table, as she liked to remind us. But it also kept her in motion, saying stuff like “time is money.” My question was, if time was money, then why weren’t we all rich? Smartass comments like that got me grounded though"

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15773126-matt-archer
     
  2. Wolfgarr

    Wolfgarr Level 7 (Cutpurse) Roleplaying LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    From the blurb of a book i saw someone was reading on my main page at goodreads...

    "When Sam is fourteen, he enters the Dark Woods and returns with Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, and a half-giant named Tiggy, earning the moniker Sam of Wilds"
    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24468673-the-lightning-struck-heart
    Its a gaymance book.. Not my cup of tea and one i wont be reading. But the blurb did make me laugh. The hornless gay unicorn << part had me busting my guts.

    Interesting note.. Something i do not understand. 99% of the reviews for this book are from women.. Really ?
     
  3. Readsalot

    Readsalot Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    Dagger and the Coin series by Daniel Abraham.
     

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  4. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Yaoi is writ for the ladies. Mostly. Sounds like something my missus would read.
     
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  5. Kidlike101

    Kidlike101 Level 17 (Theurgist) Citizen

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    A hornless gay unicorn = eunuch horse?
    Half giant = kindda tall dude

    This author is contradicting herself. thanks for sharing, it made me smile :D

    I had to look it up and the rest of the blurb delivers!

    At fifteen, Sam learns what love truly is when a new knight arrives at the castle. Sir Ryan Foxheart, the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.
    Naturally, it all goes to hell through the years when Ryan dates the reprehensible Prince Justin, Sam can't control his magic, a sexually aggressive dragon kidnaps the prince.

    Ok this is hilarious, I need that book in my life!
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2017
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  6. Wolfgarr

    Wolfgarr Level 7 (Cutpurse) Roleplaying LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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  7. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    No. What happened was, everyone in the Northeastern seaboard donates the letter R off the end or last syllable of their words to the middle of the word “warsh” in Texas.
     
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  8. Joshua Mason

    Joshua Mason Steam Whistle Alley LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen

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    "The flavors [of the stew and the wine] mingled like two lovers in the throes of ecstacy."

    Gamer for Life, Daniel Schinhofen. This line was so unexpected it made me choke on an apple I was eating while listening to it in the car.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2017
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  9. Viergacht

    Viergacht Thunderdragon Roleplaying LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    This one book I'm currently in spends two pages describing a Neanderthal in a modern hospital tearing the place apart, ripping the countertop off with his bare hands, facing down a bunch of cops, etc., and when the MC looks at him we get this line: "From the anguish on his face, he seems upset."

    Upset? Really? Ya think, Dr. Oblivious? Good thing you looked at his facial expression otherwise how would we know if the rampaging cave man was upset or not.
     
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  10. DJ Schinhofen

    DJ Schinhofen Creator of Worlds. Roleplaying LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Glad you didn't have a real issue with the apple. I can see the headline now, man chokes on apple while listening to audible book while driving....
     
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  11. Kidlike101

    Kidlike101 Level 17 (Theurgist) Citizen

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    I was drinking a redbull while I was reading this thread. your post caused me to snort half of it out of my nose!
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2017
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  12. James G Patton

    James G Patton Horrific Pun Master LitRPG Author Citizen

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    And it paired well with the chocolate milkshake, and they mingled like two dudes at a Britney Spears concert.
     
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  13. Alexis Keane

    Alexis Keane Level 14 (Defender) Roleplaying Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Seems legit.
     
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  14. Kidlike101

    Kidlike101 Level 17 (Theurgist) Citizen

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    Britney still does concerts and there were more then two in there? ok, now this is sounding fishy. :cool:
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2017
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  15. Joshua Mason

    Joshua Mason Steam Whistle Alley LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen

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    The bile rose warmly in my throat and began to sodomize the half-masticated apple with reckless abandon.
     
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  16. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Kell wore a very peculiar coat.
    It had neither one side, which would be conventional, nor two, which would be unexpected, but several, which was, of course, was impossible.


    Its the first two lines of Darker Shade of Magic, and it just got me hooked. Oh, and here is another just for my own fun of reading:
    “I apologize for shooting you in the leg.” said Lila. “I was myself entirely.”
     
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  17. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    From book 4 of the series “Expeditionary Force” by Craig Alanson. Really good space opera.
     
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  18. Nurian

    Nurian Level 8 (Thug) Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    "Damn, Skippy. This porthole is so dirty I can barely see through it. Have your bots cleaned this thing recently?"

    "Yes, Joe," he answered defensively.

    "Really?" I used the tone my mother hated when my father did it, because it implied the other person was so dumb you had to had too question their actions. "It doesn't look like it. I would have done a better cleaning job of I had spit on this porthole and smeared it around with my butt cheeks."

    "Ugh. Joe, now I will need to purge several gigabytes of memory to get that image it of my mind."

    Zero Hour by Craig Alanson
     
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  19. Readsalot

    Readsalot Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    Second rule in the World of Cultivation: When even ge is impressed, you know it's a real treasure.

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    For the wrong reasons...
    [​IMG]
     
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