"Mom was always in a hurry. Her job as a lawyer kept food on the table, as she liked to remind us. But it also kept her in motion, saying stuff like “time is money.” My question was, if time was money, then why weren’t we all rich? Smartass comments like that got me grounded though" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15773126-matt-archer
From the blurb of a book i saw someone was reading on my main page at goodreads... "When Sam is fourteen, he enters the Dark Woods and returns with Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, and a half-giant named Tiggy, earning the moniker Sam of Wilds" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24468673-the-lightning-struck-heart Its a gaymance book.. Not my cup of tea and one i wont be reading. But the blurb did make me laugh. The hornless gay unicorn << part had me busting my guts. Interesting note.. Something i do not understand. 99% of the reviews for this book are from women.. Really ?
A hornless gay unicorn = eunuch horse? Half giant = kindda tall dude This author is contradicting herself. thanks for sharing, it made me smile I had to look it up and the rest of the blurb delivers! At fifteen, Sam learns what love truly is when a new knight arrives at the castle. Sir Ryan Foxheart, the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed. Naturally, it all goes to hell through the years when Ryan dates the reprehensible Prince Justin, Sam can't control his magic, a sexually aggressive dragon kidnaps the prince. Ok this is hilarious, I need that book in my life!
""What's wrong? Let's start with the way you pronounce 'car' like 'cah', you leave the Rs out of everything. Tell me, Joe, were your ancestors so poor they had to sell all the letter Rs?"" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30342581-specops
No. What happened was, everyone in the Northeastern seaboard donates the letter R off the end or last syllable of their words to the middle of the word “warsh” in Texas.
"The flavors [of the stew and the wine] mingled like two lovers in the throes of ecstacy." Gamer for Life, Daniel Schinhofen. This line was so unexpected it made me choke on an apple I was eating while listening to it in the car.
This one book I'm currently in spends two pages describing a Neanderthal in a modern hospital tearing the place apart, ripping the countertop off with his bare hands, facing down a bunch of cops, etc., and when the MC looks at him we get this line: "From the anguish on his face, he seems upset." Upset? Really? Ya think, Dr. Oblivious? Good thing you looked at his facial expression otherwise how would we know if the rampaging cave man was upset or not.
Glad you didn't have a real issue with the apple. I can see the headline now, man chokes on apple while listening to audible book while driving....
I was drinking a redbull while I was reading this thread. your post caused me to snort half of it out of my nose!
And it paired well with the chocolate milkshake, and they mingled like two dudes at a Britney Spears concert.
The bile rose warmly in my throat and began to sodomize the half-masticated apple with reckless abandon.
Kell wore a very peculiar coat. It had neither one side, which would be conventional, nor two, which would be unexpected, but several, which was, of course, was impossible. Its the first two lines of Darker Shade of Magic, and it just got me hooked. Oh, and here is another just for my own fun of reading: “I apologize for shooting you in the leg.” said Lila. “I was myself entirely.”
"Damn, Skippy. This porthole is so dirty I can barely see through it. Have your bots cleaned this thing recently?" "Yes, Joe," he answered defensively. "Really?" I used the tone my mother hated when my father did it, because it implied the other person was so dumb you had to had too question their actions. "It doesn't look like it. I would have done a better cleaning job of I had spit on this porthole and smeared it around with my butt cheeks." "Ugh. Joe, now I will need to purge several gigabytes of memory to get that image it of my mind." Zero Hour by Craig Alanson