WIP Incipere Online

Discussion in 'Works in Progress' started by Gryphon, Jan 26, 2018.

  1. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    Dude, SPOILERS.

    Gawd.
     
  2. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Oh, I could do a lot worse at this point. Besides, he's already mentioned his sister.
     
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  3. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Off to the editors!
     
  4. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Probably one of the more emotional section openings that I've had the pleasure of writing. Everyone give Emily Queen a warm welcome as Fragment continues!

     
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  5. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Book three is going a lot slower than I'd like. Sigh.
     
  6. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    So how well has your series done?
     
  7. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Define your definition of well and I’ll elaborats.
     
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  8. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Entry from the part one seperation of Login Recoded. Chapters should be going up soon on Wattpad. It's over 70k now... so much for a novella:

    Application Processing…
    Auxiliary Support 42 (Tril) on Duty
    October 18th, 2049 - 6:35PM EST

    Subject: Jordan River Rohandal
    Age: 20
    Positive Quantifiers: loyalty, determination, mental and physical strength
    Negative Quantifiers: Anger
    Reason for Application: The subject believes that they are in a position that they would progress in their life far better in Incipere than to continue on Earth in their current situation.
    Underlying Reason: Disassociation with the subject’s current life and situation. The subject has no confidence in the security and laws provided by Earth. The subject deeply believes that the only way to continue is to gain a strength that they cannot gain on Earth.
    Testing Results: 74% Compatibility
    Unum: Rejected for possibility of violence
    Rani: Accepted
    AS42: Accepted
    Rejection Overridden
    Preloading for name and body has been optioned and accepted.
    Subject will be notified of their acceptance.

    ***

    Subject: Daniel Rior
    Age: 22
    Positive Quantifiers: Intelligence, empathy, loyalty, mental strength
    Negative Quantifiers: None displayed
    Reason for Application: The subject is bored with their normal life and believes things would be more fun in Incipere.
    Underlying Reason: The subject deeply fears what may happen to their friend if left alone. In addition to this, the subject does genuinely seem bored with Earth and had been considering Login for more than a few months.
    Testing Results: 96% Compatibility
    Unum: Accepted
    Rani: Accepted
    AS42: Accepted
    Preloading for name and body has been optioned and accepted.
    Landing area has been preauthorized - Auxi 42
    Subject will be notified of their acceptance.
     
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  9. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Login Re:Coded is working towards its final goal with plenty of rewrites and additions. Should top out at around 80k. I can honestly say this has gotten out of control. @CheshirePhoenix I hate that you're right about my writing speed.

    Damnit.
     
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  10. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    It's the fiddleitis.
     
  11. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    So, I'm sitting at 3.77 on Goodreads and Amazon... any suggestions on how to make a push to get people to review that have bought/read it? I really want to be 4.0 or higher before the second book is ready to go.
     
  12. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    So... wrote the murder of a rabbit child by the main party. Feels wrong... they aren't children, but still...
     
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  13. TravisBach

    TravisBach Level 13 (Assassin) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Does the back of book 1 ask the reader to leave a review? Like, the page right after 'The End". If not, that's what you need to do.

    Plan B - Write a supplemental short-story that takes place beside book 1 or between 1&2. Send it out to your list for free and the web for free. In the back, tell folks you need help, that book 1 doesn't have enough reviews. Since the majority of readers will only be people who read book 1, you've have some nice selection filtering going on there. Also they will be people who view your works favorably (having read book 1 and the short), so the reviews should trend positive.
     
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  14. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    With Aquamarine at her side, River rushed forward with the force of a hurricane, and to the surprise of everyone around her, the blade struck true. At the same moment that the tip of the blade sunk into the Moonkin’s body, a new message appeared in River’s window, and her body stopped. The blade sunk towards the ground, and Fifty-Five fell with it as her pained cry filled the air.
    Critical Hit!
    River’s face reflected the surprise in the Moonkin’s as the creature touched the wound as it began to fragment and dissipate her form into the air.
    Oh god, what have I done? River thought to herself as the Moonkin fell before her. She released the sword from her hands and looked at them as Fifty-Five whimpered before her. They felt wrong, but as her vision faded back into shade of true color, it didn’t take her long to realize that wasn’t the only thing that felt wrong.
    This entire situation, the whimpering, the ease of combat, and the dying creature, suddenly felt very wrong, and only got worse as a new sound pierced her thoughts in the span of the time it took for an idea to form.
    The Moonkin was sobbing, crying, something barely understandable. From the quiet around River, she wasn’t the only one that had stopped as the sound of rending data mingled with the suddenly softer, sobbing voice of their opponent as she repeated the same thing over and over again.
    “I’m sorry, Rani."
     
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  15. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Yeah, basically, at the end of your book you have a few options...

    Beg for review
    Bribe for mailing list
    Promo other books

    I'm focusing a lot on the mailing list now.

    What's your CTA (Call to Action) for asking for reviews?
     
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  16. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    I... have none of that. I'll ask but not beg, and I have no other books to Promo. Guess I'll just keep writing for now.
     
  17. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    From the shadows cast by a pillar of shadow-consumed flames, a towering behemoth of a man appeared standing twelve feet tall and draped, not in armor, but layers of rags so dark that they devoured any light that dared to approach them. The creature was a void in the light, a shadow among shadows, and neither of the pair could see what he wielded at first, but the ragged man took three steps towards them before shadows engulfed his outstretched hand, brandishing his weapon from a void of temporary darkness. In his hands was now a scythe-like weapon as wide as the crescent moon in the night sky, as large as the man himself, and dipped in a ribbon of shadow that trailed behind the glowing blade in its wake.
     
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  18. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    You could always just go to Goodreads, find people who've reviewed books similar to yours (or just litRPG in general), and then ask them to review your book in return for a free copy.
    That's what I've learned, at least.
     
  19. Gryphon

    Gryphon Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    To me, that seems almost rude. Maybe I just have to get over myself and the whole 4 star goal thing.
     
  20. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    ^ I thought it was rude or too "beggy" too, and I didn't even do it with my most recent releases late last year. Social anxiety + fear of being seen as pathetic = no reviews.

    Thing is, literally everyone will tell you to try this if you're looking for reviews. If you don't want to spend time fostering a dedicated audience who will loyally review your books— which can take years to get up to a respectable level— this is the alternative. Hell, this is often how you get that dedicated audience in the first place. It's very much related to the concept of "obscurity is a bigger threat than piracy." For example, have you heard of the tale of The Alchemist? I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶J̶e̶d̶i̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ It actually bombed hard upon initial release in Russia. Then he made it free for a digital release, which counterintuitively turned it into a bestseller.

    Similar idea at work here. It may be difficult and feel like cheating, but at least you're getting your name out and quite possibly increasing your sales exponentially.

    I personally wouldn't know since I haven't tried all the optimal routes, but everyone else swears by it.
     




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