Rules of fantasy

Discussion in 'Sci-Fi & Fantasy Books' started by Readsalot, Oct 16, 2017.

  1. Readsalot

    Readsalot Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    From many years of reading fantasy, I have formulated three rules that are universally applicable.

    My Three Cardinal Rules of Fantasy:
    Never leave an enemy alive.
    Never piss off a woman.
    Never f**k with a sorcerer.

    Any rules you've picked up that you would apply if you get drawn into a fantasy world?
     
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  2. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Don't feed a Hobbit after midnight!

    Wait, I'm mixing content. ;)
     
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  3. Kidlike101

    Kidlike101 Level 17 (Theurgist) Citizen

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    Explains why in every fantasy world the villain is a female sorceress we are a triple threat ;)
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Or the authors were all mortal men that needed a little magic in their lives... or a woman, either or XD
     
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  4. Readsalot

    Readsalot Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    Exactly.

    If you're going to cut off a sorceress's wings and leave her alive, you deserve everything that happens to you.

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    No matter how good the mage, shooting them in the face always ruins the spell.

    Hoard your munitions until they're needed. The middle of a firefight is not the time to be stingy.

    A fusion grenade is always a good substitute for a fireball spell.

    When in doubt, triple tap.

    No matter the RPG genre, always have a clip of silver blessed bullets. You never know when the GM is going to be weird.
     
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  6. MrPotatoMan

    MrPotatoMan Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    Be the MC you have a much higher life expectancy that way.
     
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  7. MrPotatoMan

    MrPotatoMan Level 13 (Assassin) Citizen

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    My list of fantasy advice
    Elves are annoying but complement them or make them out to be cowards if they dont help and they will help
    Dwarves like ale and they usualy dont care about you unless you impress them
    Dont bother with human kings unless you are one or know one as a friend they'll just stab you in the back or run especially if you disagree with them.
    orcs dont like fire use that goblins need to be scared
    make evil attack themselvs it sometimes works
    If you cant kill a great evil theres probably a phylactery somewhere
    prophecies usualy have a plot twist
    if magic is IMBA be a mage if swords are IMBA be an assassin if bows are IMBA be an assasin or a rangers apprentice if your an assasin you rarely need to kill if you are requred to actually fulfill an assassination contract better to be a thief or a spy.
    Dont anger dragons
    Dragons are usually talkative bring them something to eat and they might help you out
    Dragons treasure is rarely worth it better to just strike a deal to fake killing them takeing the reward and going on to the next town especialy if there the last of there kind;)
    If the nobles tell you that somethings off limits for commoners do it anyways it usually works out (unless its just generaly illegal)
    Save random people in the wilderness there usually royalty/your future love intrest
    if you fall in love with someone odds are they love you back if your friends die sometimes, never tell them you love them or they will die right after
    the first person you meet of the opposite gender after begging your adventure if its a coming of age story is usually the love intrest
     
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  8. Mike Litoris

    Mike Litoris Level 4 (Warrior) Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Here's my list:

    - Don't take on anyone more powerful than yourself unless you do it from the shadows.
    - Go for mass-manipulation whenever possible.
    - Dwarves are very touchy about their beards and women.
    - Elves are annoyingly snobs unless you befriend them, then watch out for their special alcoholic beverages.
    - If someone, like a Noble, tells you that commoners can't do something: do it anyway.
    - Befriend allies who are stronger than your enemies, like Dragons and Sorcerers.
    - Orcs may or may not be dumb depending on the species. They are 100% barbaric in culture though.
    - Unless you grew up as a close long-life friend of a king, don't bother with them and attempt to stay clear of their twisted chess-games of life and death.
    - If you can be a mage, do so. Also, work on swordsmanship!
    - Dragons give great treasures, better to befriend than steal it though.
     
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  9. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
     
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  10. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 17 (Theurgist) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    • Don't f**k with the white mage. No, this isn't a DBZA meme— it's truth. You want to survive? Then your healer is your team god, and they need respect and victuals.
    • Don't f**k with a rogue. They will mess you up and make it look like an accident.
    • Everything is better with ninjas. Ninjas are misrepresented and only existed during a specific era in Japanese history? F**k you, here are some ninjas from medieval Germany. Ninjas never used most of the weapons they're known for and never actually wore black? F**k you, I don't think you've experienced enough ancient Greek ninjitsu today.
     
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  11. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Always check for traps! ;)
     
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  12. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 17 (Theurgist) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Speaking of "traps", rumor has it that only 70% of bar wenches in medieval times were actually female. Most of the men of that era, though, initially thought it was 100%.
     
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  13. Jay

    Jay Hiatus. LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    When in doubt, assume it's a trap. That box in the middle of the room? Probably a mimic. Use fire. That mummy that seems dead? Well, it's probably dead but also animated. Use fire.

    Actually, use fire a lot. Unless it's a dragon. Don't use fire on dragons. It just pisses them off.
     
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