Silly Magic Items in LitRPG Books

Discussion in 'All Things LitRPG Discussion' started by Paul Bellow, Nov 14, 2017 at 4:15 PM.

  1. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen

    Midwest, US
    Inspired by this article, what odd/crazy/useless magic items have you come across in LitRPG books?

    2) Bountiful Spade

    Official description: "Characters who use this enchanted farm implement to turn over the earth prior to planting a field receive a +3 bonus on their agriculture proficiency check for that year." I feel confident in saying that any D&D game that needs its player to perform an agriculture proficiency check for an entire year is the worst D&D game ever.

    10) Bone Seed

    So this is a tiny bone fragment that when planted turns into a giant tree made of bones. Does it look awesome? Probably. Would it be perfect landscaping addition for an evil wizard or someone trying to make a heavy metal album cover? Absolutely. Is it useful in any other way? No. Well, technically you can grab one of the bones and try to stab somebody with them, but this is D&D; if you weren't already carrying a weapon you'd have died minutes after beginning your adventure. Oh, also: "If a bone seed is planted in a burial ground, there is a 10% chance that it will produce a monkey skull." Well all right then.

    14) Brooch of Number Numbing

    I still can't believe this exists in D&D, but let me try to explain it. It's a brooch someone wears. People who look at the brooch, uh… forget numbers. Like they forget five is more than three, how currency exchange works, and more. This is such a bizarre, esoteric thing, and one that seemingly has only one use — screwing people out of their money. Which is what I thought Thieves were for. Basically, add the Brooch of Number Numbing with the Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry and you've made a D&D campaign with all the fun of a visit to the DMV.
    Wyvern and Viergacht like this.

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