Transformation (Russian author)

Hello guys! I'm a Russian author of fiction books. I write books about Virtual Reality: game is coming into our life with the postapocalypse.

Now there are three books of the series Transformation in Russian. The whole series planes five books! And I'm translating the first book into English for publishing on Amazon.

I will be grateful for any help in editing. Thanks ahead and let's make more interesting books come to our life!
Please comment any case, whether you like it or not, it's very important for me.




Description.

The familiar world collapsed overnight. As the Game Transformation progressed, disasters occurred throughout Earth. The properties of materials changed, new species of flora and fauna appeared, and there was no more electricity. The Game was massive, spread across multiple worlds, and when a new planet was added, it was converted into a huge dungeon, completely replacing the previous civilization.

However, the aliens’ plans for Earth began to go awry from the very beginning. The conversion was less successful than expected and then an ordinary young man stole the bonus for the first gaming action in the new dungeon, depriving the invaders of their perk.

How can he manage the situation? Which of the aliens will become his ally? Which ones are his enemy? Dare they rebel against the all-powerful invaders, regain their land and even create a new world?


The book was relesed on November thу 7th. So, you can read the book here
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07JR4S88K
I will be very very grateful for your reading my book!
All reviews and stars you give to me really cheered up! This is the highest award for the author!

Have a great day!

 

Chapter 1. Transformation. Part 1.

It was an ordinary summer day in St. Petersburg and Yaroslav was sleeping in as long as possible. He still had a couple weeks before the start of school in September and normally would have been reveling in his lack of responsibilities, but instead he was filled with gloomy foreboding.
It wasn’t that his parents were about to fly to London for three days and leave him alone, they had left him behind plenty of times before. It wasn’t the weather, the sun was shining outside the window and the azure sky was in a veil of cirrus clouds.
No, it was the inexplicable, mysterious, and magical castle that had suddenly appeared in the heart of the Royal Richmond Park in London two days ago.
Everything else was forgotten: North Korea, Syria, even all-powerful and insidious Russian hackers. All international and Russian news agencies had been talking about it nonstop. It was the only subject-matter for the news and talk shows. Each newspaper, magazine or TV program was full of epithets like ‘impossible’, ‘unthinkable’, ‘indescribable’. Crazy freaks ran wild. Some stood on street corners holding posters proclaiming the end of the world while others filled social media with terrible conspiracy theories.
The castle was incredibly beautiful, majestic and terrifying at the same time. It was clearly no fairy palace with its incredibly high fortress walls and huge battle towers. The entire castle was surrounded by an invisible force field, a fact made clear by the myriad of drone fragments lying beneath the walls. Surprisingly, birds crossed the invisible barrier without any difficulties. Some independent agencies also claimed that the previous night, several cruise missiles had struck the barrier in vain.
In response to the sudden appearance of the castle, the Royal London Society for the Improvement of Natural Knowledge urgently organized a Symposium of the leading scientific minds and had invited Yaroslav’s parents.
Yar finally jumped out of the bed like a spring. He was a tall athletic young man whose appearance was dangerous for girls - the rare combination of jet-black hair and big blue eyes, regular features and a well-developed figure. While mum was making breakfast, dad, as he usually said, ‘was making a boy into a man.’
As far back as the 15-year-old could remember, they would start every morning with Wushu and then finish with hard Shotokan. While his father loved martial arts, his true passion was quantum physics, hence the invite to the Symposium.
“Hey, gladiators, finish up, it is time for shower and breakfast! Our flight is at 2 pm, and it’s 10 am already,” they heard his mother’s loud voice.
They got quickly to Pulkovo Airport as there were no traffic jams. As usual the car was left in the parking lot near the terminal. While standing in the queue to check-in, Yar got all necessary instructions from mum and ten thousand rubles pocket money from dad as well as an annual subscription to the shooting club, a slight poke in the chest and the words, “We have been so busy with all this stuff that I nearly forget about the subscription to the shooting club! Be responsible and don’t throw any crazy parties here without us.”
Freed from kissing, he went to the open observation deck to see off the plane and figure out what to do with three days on his own.
He watched as the snow-white MC-21 slowly taxied to the runway, stood a little and began accelerating. It broke away from the ground smoothly and sharply climbed into the summer azure, almost on a vertical line. Being confused with the flood of thoughts, Yar waved his hand automatically. “Mum, dad, good luck in foggy Albion!” Yaroslav whispered.
That very moment he saw him. All the inhabitants of Earth, wherever they were, saw him. He was a huge elf with a beautiful face that showed disgust. He was dressed in rich and extraordinary clothes and looked as if he had come off the screens of a fantasy blockbuster.
“Mere nobodies!” the titan shouted, “You forfeit all rights to this world, and your defective civilization and wildlife will go through the Transformation. Listen! I’m not going to repeat! If you survive and preserve your sanity, you’ll become the property of Ellir of the White Branch, who is now the Great Governor of the Blue Planet. You must reach the nearest Transport Portal, which will appear after the Transformation, and proceed to the regional distributor. There each of you will have the opportunity to serve the Great Governor in one way or another. Those people who dare oppose the power of the Great Governor will become prey for future hunting games in addition to all the modified.”
The light flashed for an instant and faded, and Yaroslav saw the end of the world. The teenager stood alone on the observation deck, all the other men, women, and children around him had been cut down like grass. Planes were falling from the sky with a loud roar.
“Mum, Dad…”
Yaroslav did not remember how long he stood there with eyes full of tears: for a few moments, several minutes or eternity. A powerful explosion behind him ended his silent reverie. He was knocked down and stunned. The wreckage of a huge airliner littered the track near the terminal.

 

Chapter 1. Transformation. Part 2.

There was smoke and flying ash everywhere, but something was flashing in front of Yar's eyes. Without realizing it, he had started rushing to the fallen people around him. Jumping from one to another Yar realized that they were all alive but unconscious. Two airport security guards were lying nearby, both fully equipped with a Kalashnikov rifle, a pistol and a bullet-proof vest. Yaroslav tried to make an emergency call but failed as his phone refused to turn on. Even the guards’ radios showed no signs of life.
“Jesus, what is this?”
He noticed a slender girl, probably his age, holding an iPhone in her hand. The teenager took a couple steps in her direction and saw that she was very pretty. He’d love to go to the club with such a beautiful girl, making all his friends green with envy. Her face was peaceful, as if she was sleeping.
“Her phone’s dead too, damn!” He adjusted the young girl’s skirt, put a bag under her head and felt the pulse, as they had been taught at school. Her hand was warm and the pulse was normal.
Was this a new weapon of mass destruction? Perhaps some sort of massive EMP that fried all equipment and also affected people?
The girl jerked so much that Yar jumped in surprise. He saw that her skin became darker, the blouse and the skirt burst at the seams. She started to shake and bend. Yar rushed back to the security guards and desperately tried to wake them, but nothing seemed to work. Shouts, pinches, even slaps to the face were completely ineffective.
“Shit,” Yar swore, turning to what used to be a girl. There was almost nothing left of her delicate, pretty form. All that remained was a horrible monster reminiscent of the movie Alien or something like that — something terrible with a black chitinous sheen.
The monster snarled, revealing hundreds of crooked fangs, and hissed like the punctured tire of a truck.
“Hey, hey, I did not touch you, I just held your hand and nothing else! Here’s your phone, see. I’ll put it here. Everything’s safe and sound. Don’t be nervous!”
Only God knows how he could grab the Kalashnikov rifle and get off a round so quickly and, most importantly, accurately. The creature's head burst into fragments like a pumpkin, splashing him with strange liquid and blood.
Amidst the gore, he finally noticed the flickering in the eyes, shook his head, and focused. A transparent panel appeared in front of him and flared:

Attention!
Global Blue World achievement ‘The First Hunter’ made by Helot <no_name> for making the first kill on Blue World.
Rewards:
Unique ability: Shadow
Two unique skills
500 stat points
Title: The First Hunter
500 gold
Choice and Distribution:
Intuitive/Random/Personal

Yar was shocked as he could not understand what was going on. He cursed aloud and felt himself trembling. Almost intuitively, without thinking it over, he made his choice. He only wanted to get rid of the panel as fast as possible.
“I’ll deal with it later, if I survive”, he thought.
Yar realized at that moment that his body and mind were changing. A calmness settled over him, as if a load of anxiety he had never known he had was suddenly removed. His vision and other senses improved in a strange way and became excellent. He could now see better without glasses than he ever had with them. “What’s going on with me?” Yaroslav thought in surprise.
Suddenly Yar felt a premonition of danger coming from behind, and barely managed to escape by rolling to the left. An abominable monster landed on the place where he had just stood, causing sparks to fly from the concrete with its claws. Yar rose to one knee and fired a three-round burst into the skull of the monster before it could even turn around. As another body on the ground began jerking, Yar started stripping the security guards. Now his armory contained a rifle, a pistol, and a decent amount of ammunition for both.
He looked around and to his horror realized that there were a lot of jerking bodies that were starting to transform into monsters. He shot down two other monsters rushing to him, then hopped the parapet without hesitation, landing on the roof of one of the shuttles that moved passengers around the airport. From there, he sprinted to the planes parked far away. The nearest plane was a huge Airbus A380. It was frankly luck that there were no passengers aboard this giant and that one hatch was open with a ladder attached.
As he got to the bottom of the ladder, he stopped and looked around. The whole crowd of creatures racing after him was still about five hundred meters away. It was the creepiest thing he had ever seen. It made him finally realize that the world in which he had been living did not exist anymore. He vowed to do everything possible to survive in this new world, working as he never had before.
Under the fuselage, near the closed cargo hatch, there was a train of trolleys for luggage transportation and behind it he saw something that made his blood run cold. A small pack of creatures was tearing apart a corpse when they noticed Yaroslav and simultaneously raised their bloodied snouts in his direction.

 

Chapter 1. Transformation. Part 3

A few minutes before that,
London, the Great Governor’s Palace

A huge atrium was filled with the light streaming through the crystal transparent roof. It was an ocean of greenery with the magic beauty of flowers, small multicolored birds, and butterflies.
Several cascading waterfalls and a rainbow gave that artificial miracle the appearance of a natural crater in a long-dormant volcano covered with a crystal roof. Along the perimeter, on the different floors, each in his own apartment, all thirty-six Governors of the Worlds of the White Branch clan were sitting. Behind every throne there were personal guards, servants and concubines.
Below, on the shiny dark obsidian floor interspersed with diamond stars, there was a skillful mosaic of colored stones in the form of the solar system. The third planet from the sun was represented by a realistic projection ten meters across. The oceans, the continents, the mountains, the cities, even the landscape were clearly seen. Thirty-seventh Governor Ellir of the White Branch and his chief magician, Ollie the Twilight stood next to the spinning illusion. There was a man chained by hands and feet near an iron portal.
Ollie the Twilight stretched out his hands, appealing to the Governors: “Thirty-seventh Governor welcomes the Great Governors to the Blue World, this promising planet has joined to the Belt of Worlds of the clan White Branch. The Transformation has finished,” Ollie stopped and made a gesture to the Governor. Ellir smiled. He looked satisfied — finally all his hard work was about to be rewarded. He wanted to have a rest, visit concubines and luxuriate in the pool, but first there was one final item take care of. The Governor drew his shining sword and was poised to pierce through the victim’s chest, when, like everyone else in this world, he was interrupted by the message from the Magic Matrix:

Attention!
Global Blue World achievement ‘The First Hunter’ made by Helot <no_name> for making the first kill on Blue World

Silence settled over the atrium with only the sound of waterfalls filling the dumbfound scene. “NO!” screamed Ellir the Light, losing control and dropping the sword. “I was to be The First Hunter!”
A snow-white haired elf rose from his throne and approached the railing. It was the wise Tark of the White Branch, one of the forefathers of the clan. “Ollie, tell me how many talented Helots are left on the Blue Planet after the Transformation?”
The Twilight bowed and put his hand to the spinning ball. His face distorted, he pulled back his hand and repeated his movement, apparently double-checking himself, stood still for a little, opened his eyes and cried out loudly in a falsetto voice: “Seventy-six million!”
The stunned silence that followed was broken as some shouted, some clapped their hands, and some laughed.
“Silence!” Tark yelled with a voice amplified by magic and the walls shuddered, “That’s almost the same number as in all of our worlds combined. Maybe you’re wrong, Honorable?”
“No, sir, there is no mistake,” the chief magician of the Blue World said with a low bow. Tark instantly moved to the blue globe and repeated the chief magician’s gestures, but was finally forced to confirm the report with a nod.
“The Matrix reports there really are seventy-six million Helots. Something’s wrong here, it’s clearly a mistake of the great Matrix. I’m sorry I doubted you Ollie, you’re one of the best magicians in the White Branch.”
“Oh no sir, you shouldn’t apologize!” the chief magician of the Blue World said as he bowed lower. He enjoyed standing next to the founding father, who seemed to be God in the eyes of the majority.
Tark raised his hands and appealed to all the Governors: “Several thousands of years ago the ancients who created the Universe Magic Matrix warned that unexplained phenomena could occur as the expansion progressed. Apparently this is one of them.”
Loud shouts were heard from the Great Governors’ lodges: “Repeat! Restart! Let’s do it again! Don’t waste time! Come on!”
“Well, it is proposed to repeat the Transformation. Who agrees with this?”
All Great Governors raised their right hands, having agreed with the proposal.
“Ollie, can you repeat?” Tark asked the chief magician of the thirty-seventh world.
He nodded and replied with a curt “Yes.”
Tark returned to sit on his throne and gave the signal to start.
“I’m ready!” Ollie Twilight cried out, and was enveloped in a gray shroud. Immediately neon-white harnesses of power went out from him to each Governor. Twilight’s cocoon started to vibrate, accumulating all the energy until it suddenly burst forth with a powerful ray that hit the projection of Earth. A fiery circle started at the South Pole and kept rising until it reached the North Pole. Ollie declared wearily, “The second Transformation is finished.” He was too exhausted to worry about proper etiquette.

The present time, St. Petersburg

Light dimmed again for a moment. The creatures which were just about to devour him on the ladder fell down and the more distant pursuing herd fell to the ground as if someone's hand had knocked over a bunch of toy monster figurines.
Yar thanked God for the lucky break but realized he couldn’t rely on luck any more. With that thought in mind, he began to shoot the fallen monsters without hesitation. It was scary to think what would have happened if he hadn’t been keen on paintball and parkour. Yar managed to permanently put down one of the beasts on the spot. Then he had to slow down to climb the ladder, but was able to wound and knock down the two most nimble beasts. They were still alive, deafening Yaroslav with their piercing screams. But Yar didn’t stop. He shot one more awful creature point-blank, then another nimble beast managed to swipe his left forearm with its claws, knocking the Kalash out of his hands. It felt as if a hornet had stung him in the shoulder and his arm went numb immediately. He grabbed the pistol and fired it into the creature’s mouth and beat out its brains. Yar felt that the main herd closing quickly, so there was no time to retrieve the rifle.
Oh, something appeared before his eyes again:

Attention!
Global Belt of Worlds achievement ‘The Impossible is Possible, From Rags to Riches’ made by Helot <no_name> of the Blue World for becoming ‘The First Hunter’ a second time.
Rewards:
Personal assistant
Unique abilities: Mage Universal, Designer Magic
Five unique skills
1000 stat points
Title: Nouveau Riche
The Intergalactic Trade Auction is opened
Granted statuses: Forever, Free, Premium, Incognito
Choice and Distribution:
Intuitive/Random/Personal

“Go away!” Yaroslav cried out. He practically flew up the ladder, closed the hatch, and collapsed to his knees. The herd of creatures tried to open the door a few times but without any success and soon gave up. Yar was a little surprised given how they slashed the concrete with their sharp claws.
Just as things were starting to calm down, he was startled by more fierce cries just outside the hatch. He didn’t dare look out the window, but it sounded like a ferocious battle was being waged. It was so terrifying that he was practically hyperventilating, his heart was palpitating, and his hair was standing on end.

 

Chapter 1. Transformation. Part 4

London, the Great Governor’s Palace

Silence settled down in the atrium again. It was broken only by the notorious waterfalls and lonely applause of the twenty-eighth Governor, Liya of the White Branch. The girl really looked like a goddess, she was obscenely beautiful. When everybody looked at her, she stood up, showing them her perfect body. “Finally something happened, it’s even easier to breathe. Fresh wind has blown, hasn’t it?”
Ellir cut the chained victim with one motion of the blade in frustration. The earthman had been brought here specifically so he could kill him and get the The First Hunter achievement. And it had been stolen from him not once, but twice.
Nobody paid him any attention as they all started shouting at once. Some wanted to get licenses for hunting immediately, others demanded perpetual land grants. It was clear to all what a treasure the Blue World was.
Tark had to intervene again. “Silence! You are insatiable,” he rumbled in the voice of the Pioneers. “We aren’t going to change anything, that’s enough. We’ve already tried once, and this world has only gotten stronger.” Tark went again to the projection of the Earth and rechecked. “Do you realize that we have almost seventy-five million talented Helots under our feet? Yes, the number is reducing, as, of course, there are monstrous beasts here, reinforced by the double Transformation, but if only the half of the talented ones survive, it would be too many of them! And if we can tame at least a quarter of those who remain and then bring up their children properly, we will have a new strong caste of military magicians of any kind we want. The White Branch will be able to become a leading clan and to increase its territory and wealth. So let’s give the new Governor the required ten years and not interfere. I will personally punish anyone who violates the covenants of the Pioneers and engages in unauthorized hunting. I swear by The Matrix of the Ancients! I’d like to add one more thing. In my opinion, we came across the technoworld, where long ago, in ancient times, magic existed and was powerful, and it remains in its land, water, air, and creatures. If it is so, and I have no doubt, soon hunting will bring us fabulous profits, new ingredients, relics, plants with unprecedented powers, magical bioresources, rare metals, stones and much more interesting items that I can’t even imagine!”
Menacing and terrifying in his omnipotence, Tark paused, frowning and peering into the audience his cold eyes. Every moment the Great Lord was angry, each elf preferred to look somewhere to the side, anywhere but those icy eyes. After a decent pause, he rumbled again so that he was heard throughout the atrium.
“Don’t annoy me, elves! You’re stupid and lazy! Have you forgotten that we could face the curse of the system for breaking the Transformation Protocol? Why don’t you worry about the greatness of our clan? The only thing you think about is endless looting and making a fortune! Be patient and our huntsmen will receive new combat levels, the magicians will learn new spells, and our alchemists will be able to synthesize new drugs. Therefore, it’s necessary to be patient and give this world the time to adapt. Now, let’s support the thirty-seventh Governor!’ Tark clapped and shouted, “For the Glory of the White Branch. Possess!”
The elves echoed the Great Lord, none daring to argue with Tark. “Possess! Possess! Possess!” was heard throughout the huge atrium. The sound was still rattling in the hall as Tark quietly said, “I hope there will be enough hunting licenses for me.”
“Don't doubt it Great Lord,” The Governor of the Blue World answered him under his breath.
The Governors gossiped and socialized a little, drinking glasses of sparkling nectar, and finally began to leave Ellir’s palace, returning to their Worlds.
Soon only three elves remained. They were the Governor, his chief magician and Liya, who was walking around the projection of Earth and examining the planet with great interest.
“Where’s that bastard that stole my first hunt twice?” Ellir asked his magician angrily.
The magician showed the culprit, highlighting his location, “He’s here, my Lord.”
“All right, send huntsmen there. They must bring me his head.”
“Please, no, your Excellency,” Liya interjected. “Why only his head? Order them to bring him alive. I will pay handsomely for him.”
“Agreed,” Ellir muttered. Nobody could refuse the beautiful Liya.
“Thank you dear Ellir. It’s always a great pleasure to have dealings with you. You are so courteous, I always set your impeccable manners as an example to others.”
While she outwardly supported Governor, Liya had already decided to send ten thousand gold coins to The First Hunter if he managed to make a fool of the fat bastard and avoid the huntsmen. With that much, he would surely obtain admittance to the General Auction.
It turned out that Liya got to send the money even sooner than she expected. A frightened messenger ran towards them and told the Governor the latest news that his four huntsmen had died heroic deaths, torn to pieces by beasts, when they had come out of the portal.
“Ha,” Liya said with a smile. “Tark was right in saying that this planet would bring us a lot of interesting things, and now I don’t doubt it either.”
For the first time in recent years, she sent gold without regret, and perhaps a little pleasure. “I’m going to keep an eye on this First Hunter.” She couldn’t bring herself to call him a Helot.

 

[QUOTE="Paul Bellow, change the single quotes to double quotes [/QUOTE]
Thanks. They say both variants are possible. OK, I'll change
Really need to search a beta reader. Don't you know there can I look for someone like that? Your site looks perfect. But there are too few readers

 

Hi Valery, welcome aboard. That's a good premise you have. You are right, though, that you need readers because the translation hasn't really done justice to the story. In fact, you need a copy-editor. There are several on the site but the level of work required here means you should offer to pay someone rather than hope for a free copy-edit.

As for quote marks, it used to be that for academic work, single quotes were used 'like this' and for fiction, double quotes, "like this". Now, however, that distinction has gone and you can use either, depending on your preference. I find single quotes look less cluttered and prefer them. And then there's the option of using the dash –like this. James Joyce and Cormac McCarthy use it, which is no bad precedent. I find at times though, it gets confusing when you have dialogue and want to use the dash in it's traditional way. –If I use the dash for dialogue, he said, can I also use a dash to show a sudden change in the conversation – look a dragon!

 

Thanks a lot. I'm just an author, and my English is rether poor. And my girls-translators didn't manage with the search of beta.

 

Thanks! You are absolutely right. I'm searching a partner for a great work. I'm going to translate all the books. I plan 5 books of Transformation. There are written 3 of them. I'm started writting it a year ago. The books became rater popular, so my friend'd persuaded me to translate it into English. We'd almost already done it. The whole book is about 90 000 words. But, as you see, there are some problems, and the text needs an editor. I hope I'll find here good friends and a future partner.

Here is my Russian site, if it's interesting for you. They say the book is rater good. I hope it's true )))
Трансформация 1

If you will be interested in work with me, please write to email vestarsky@gmail.com

 

Sorry, I'm really don't know the prices at yours. I do hope I'll manage it. In any case I'll can pay pre summ and the whole summ after the beginning of sales, right? ))) I'm sure the first book at Amazon should looks rather good, that's why I need the editor. I don't even know how bad is my text. I think the betas who has experience, has their own price. I'll write to your betas, hope we'll deal. Do you advise these two persons because they are free now? Do you recommend them?

 

It depends on the editor. I'll send you a PM.

 

I thought you found someone?

 

Hi guys!
Really GOOD new! The book is done! We did it!
"Transformation" is translated by the friends of mine into English and edited and localized with the help of CheshirePhoenix. It was a great work, and I hope it will have a success!

Now the book is in Pre-Order. And everyone will be able to read it in Kindle at the 7th of November 2018!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JR4S88...qid=1540630589&sr=1-1&keywords=valery+starsky

Good luck to me. And I will be very very grateful for your reading my book and reviews!

Have a great day!

 

Looking forward to it!