Cadwe

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1. 

   Dwarven Ax of Choppiness

   Mar 1, 2018, Weapons

   Chop things choppily with choppiness chopping!
2. 

   Broken Gloves

   Mar 1, 2018, Armor

   A set of broken gloves. Maybe if they get repaired they might give you a quest, or become part of a set.
3. 

   Wolframite Rapier

   Mar 1, 2018, Weapons

   Capable of piercing the hearts of great demons, this blade refuses to melt even under the most intense heat.
4. 

   Wolframite Rapier

   Mar 1, 2018, Weapons

   Capable of piercing the hearts of great demons, this blade refuses to melt even under the most intense heat.
5. 

   Armored Duster

   Mar 1, 2018, Armor

   A full-length Leather Duster with kevlar lining. It can be fitted with armored plates.
6. 

   Caffeinated Red Ball of Heart Palpitations

   Mar 1, 2018, Items

   Energy ball. +100 mg of Caffeine while in your inventory! Stacks with itself!
   
   Warning: Too many Caffeinated Red Balls can causes your body to involuntarily vibrate.
7. 

   Writer's Robe of Optimism

   Mar 1, 2018, Clothes

   This awesome robe is made of the nicest softest bastet fur. Once you put it on, you gain the ability to write. And write you will if nothing else than a bad check because of the optimism that this Robe will bring you. +10 to optimism.
   
   Downside, it's so soft, it's almost impossible to take off. You'll have to spend some willpower to take it off to shower. On the other hand, you are a writer. You only need to do that once every two weeks after you've cut your grass.
8. 

   Adventurer's Skull

   Mar 1, 2018, Items

   The skull of an adventurer who thought to steal from the wyvern's hoard. Excellent for decorative purposes!
9. 

   Dragon's Fire

   Mar 1, 2018, Items

   A heart-stone imbued with dragon's fire. Useful for a weapon or various alchemical processes.
10. 

    Wyvern Scales

    Mar 1, 2018, Armor

    The shed scales of a wyvern. Quite useful for making various forms of armor that protect against dragons and their kin.
11. 

    Helm of Theft Immunity (Cursed)

    Jul 21, 2017, Armor

    This finely crafted gold helmet is worthless in battle, but it will protect you from having your gold stolen. Expensive, but might it not save you gold in the long run?
12. 

    Stat Buff

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    Feeling down? Drinking this drink will give yourself a stat buff. Doesn't actually do anything, but transfer a few gold from your pocket to mine. But it's all in how you look at it. If this were a Pokemon, you'd buy it just because. Be the first to CATCH EM' ALL!!
13. 

    Writer's Robe of Optimism

    Jul 4, 2017, Clothes

    This awesome robe is made of the nicest softest bastet fur. Once you put it on, you gain the ability to write. And write you will if nothing else than a bad check because of the optimism that this Robe will bring you. +10 to optimism.
    
    Downside, it's so soft, it's almost impossible to take off. You'll have to spend some willpower to take it off to shower. On the other hand, you are a writer. You only need to do that once every two weeks after you've cut your grass.
14. 

    Bone Dragon Mount

    Jul 4, 2017, Armor

    Forget warded walking shoes, buy yourself a mount and you won't even have to walk. I don't even have to mention how freagin' awesome owning a Pet Bone Dragon is.
15. 

    Paradox Online's Fully-Submersive VR Capsule V1.0

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    This gaming capsule is super advanced. You step into it and hook sensors on to your boots and special gloves as well as a mask. These allow the system to monitor your movement through wi-fi technology. But the cool part? When the door closes, you float. Gravity is banished! Has been rated the best gaming capsule to hit the market in the NEXT 100 YEARS. Get one now. Limited Edition. Once gone... a new version will replace it.
    
    All official P.O. Capsules give bonuses when you play the Paradox Online came in the Deep Dark Cave. V1.0 will give a higher stat bonus than all future versions. Once they are gone, they are gone.
    
    +4 to your primary stat category to be distributed as you see fit
    +3 to your secondary stat category to be distributed as you see fit
    +2 to your tertiary stat category to be distributed as you see fit
16. 

    Charlie Jindrak's Infinite Gravity Bag of Holding

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    Charlie Jindrak is a lot of things. In one reality, he is a Wizard. While he would never be caught dead in a corny wizard hat, he will never be without his Infinite Gravity Bag of Holding. If you can fit it through the opening, the item becomes weightless allowing you to carry it without hindrance.
    
    Alas, you are not Charlie Jindrak, thus it isn't attuned to you. While you may not benefit from an entirely weightless bag in this universe, your character in Paradox Online can at least carry double their strength rating in this bag without penalties.
17. 

    Unbreakable Coffee Mug of Smack Talk!

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    That's right! This magical cup sends a clear message to your target. That is, you'll hit them over and over with it til they understand the message. It works telepathically. They will understand the message, though it's unclear if the wielder will know what the message is, if the target really understands it, or even how many hits it takes to activate and get the message across.
    
    Limited Edition, once it's gone, it's gone.
18. 

    Caffeinated Red Ball of Heart Palpitations

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    Energy ball. +100 mg of Caffeine while in your inventory! Stacks with itself!
    
    Warning: Too many Caffeinated Red Balls can causes your body to involuntarily vibrate.
19. 

    Blue Metal Mace

    Jul 4, 2017, Weapons

    Rock on, Bill and Ted! Only a few of these rare, magical maces exist, so grab one before they're gone. It will permanently increase you steal chance by 1%.
20. 

    A scrap of paper

    Jul 4, 2017, Items

    Four numbers separated by periods (written in crayon)
    Grants access to the Doktor Urmind's Hacker Chat forum.
21. 

    Silk Gloves

    Jul 4, 2017, Armor

    Increases your steal chance by 10%.
22. 

    Acutus

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The unique blade that cuts through atoms. As featured in 'The Siege of Mettleburg'
    
    (Gives xp if you own it long enough.)
23. 

    The Force

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The Force is a Science Fantasy weapon that gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together. - Obi-Wan Kenobi
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
24. 

    Lightsaber

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The lightsaber is the Science Fantasy weapon of a Jedi, an elegant weapon of a more civilized age. It can be used to cut through blast doors or enemies alike. Using the Force, a Jedi can predict and deflect incoming blaster bolts, and reflect them.
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
25. 

    Stormtrooper Suit

    Jun 13, 2017, Armor

    Show your allegiance to the Empire (or infiltrate their ranks with this clever disguise) by donning this protective armor. Comes with full regalia - including signature helmet and blaster.
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
26. 

    Golden egg

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    Find out what it does!
27. 

    Stat Buff

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    Feeling down? Drinking this drink will give yourself a stat buff. Doesn't actually do anything, but transfer a few gold from your pocket to mine. But it's all in how you look at it. If this were a Pokemon, you'd buy it just because. Be the first to CATCH EM' ALL!!
28. 

    Writer's Robe of Optimism

    Jun 13, 2017, Clothes

    This awesome robe is made of the nicest softest bastet fur. Once you put it on, you gain the ability to write. And write you will if nothing else than a bad check because of the optimism that this Robe will bring you. +10 to optimism.
    
    Downside, it's so soft, it's almost impossible to take off. You'll have to spend some willpower to take it off to shower. On the other hand, you are a writer. You only need to do that once every two weeks after you've cut your grass.
29. 

    Zork I

    Jun 13, 2017, Software

    You’re on the threshold of a whole new experience, for ahead of you is the extraordinary world of the Great Underground Empire. Once you step through the door to Zork, you leave the world of arcade games and trite fantasies behind and enter the dimension of your imagination. Every plot, every puzzle, every personality has been honed and perfected to make your experience uniquely realistic and involving.
30. 

    Robe of the Writer

    Jun 13, 2017, Clothes

    Protects (somehow, magically) the writer from barbs hurled by readers or other authors. (Changes your postbit to green - #96E87A) Must be an Aspiring Writer or LitRPG Author.
31. 

    Hashi's Chopper

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    This fine blade will turn your postbit this color --> #FAF1DE
32. 

    The Force

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The Force is a Science Fantasy weapon that gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together. - Obi-Wan Kenobi
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
33. 

    Lightsaber

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The lightsaber is the Science Fantasy weapon of a Jedi, an elegant weapon of a more civilized age. It can be used to cut through blast doors or enemies alike. Using the Force, a Jedi can predict and deflect incoming blaster bolts, and reflect them.
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
34. 

    Stormtrooper Suit

    Jun 13, 2017, Armor

    Show your allegiance to the Empire (or infiltrate their ranks with this clever disguise) by donning this protective armor. Comes with full regalia - including signature helmet and blaster.
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
35. 

    Lich Bitch Beer

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A dark beer with the souls of the damned swirling in the frothy drink.
    
    +2 to Stamina
    +1 to Singing skill
    Disgust Alert to any paladins/clerics within ten feet.
36. 

    Mimic on the Beach

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A mixed drink that can be any drink you wish.
    
    +3 Stamina
    +5 to Singing Skill
    +2 Libido
    -1 to Speech
37. 

    Beholder Brew

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A kaleidoscope of effects for those needing a break from reality. Please roll a 1d10 after you take a sip for effect or one will be chosen for you.
    
    1- Sing like a fallen angel +3
    2- Turn into a frog, -5 to the ladies, +5 to the gents
    3- Staff of Morning Wood. Men get +5 to bulge in their pants. Women get +10 and grow one.
    4- Natural Breast Enhancement, +5 for women. +10 for men and they grow a pair.
    5- Disco Light, +4 to Dance skill.
    6- Mustache of Attraction, +5 to attract either sex with you new mustache.
    7- Mer goggles, every one looks like a mermaid, -2 for the fish smell.
    8- Wrath of the Libido- +10 to your sick perversions you animal.
    9- Lips of fortitude, +10 to your Sucking skill.
    10- Wilting Forest- can't get hard, can't get wet, you give up on your dreams and go back to law school.
38. 

    Epic Paintbrush

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A paintbrush that produces artwork from the covers of Epic, Saga and Edda. Purchase it and find the right forum to use it...
39. 

    Quill of Naming

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A magical quill and ink set. As you touch it to parchment, the quill stirs in your hand and you are struck with inspiration. You can bring a character to life.
    
    [Buying the quill opens a box for you to name a character in Conor Kostick's current work-in-progress: fantasy names are more likely to work for major characters].
40. 

    Bong

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    Will grant you access to Digital Colorado in the Metaverse.
41. 

    Eyes of Seeing

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A pair of magical lenses that allow you to see into the world of Epic.
    
    Specifically, you will be granted access to the "Conor Kostick: The Siege of Mettleburg Offer" forum in the Hall of Heroes. There you will receive special instructions for accessing your free copy of the book.
42. 

    Orb of Scrying into Edda

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    A crystal ball that looks into the world of Edda. Find the forum to use it...
43. 

    Aspiring Writer Badge

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    This will add the "Aspiring Writer" badge to your profile in the forums.
44. 

    Wizard Hat

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    This generic wizard hat is mass produced, but the quality is nice and the price can't be beat. This will change your User Title Style. You can turn it on and off.
45. 

    Zork I

    Jun 13, 2017, Software

    You’re on the threshold of a whole new experience, for ahead of you is the extraordinary world of the Great Underground Empire. Once you step through the door to Zork, you leave the world of arcade games and trite fantasies behind and enter the dimension of your imagination. Every plot, every puzzle, every personality has been honed and perfected to make your experience uniquely realistic and involving.
46. 

    Boots of the Sneak

    Jun 13, 2017, Clothes

    These stylish boots point out the fact you're involved in thievery, but you don't care because of the permanent +2% steal chance. Only so many pairs are available at a time.
47. 

    Long Scarf

    Jun 13, 2017, Clothes

    Attached to this long scarf, hidden from view except from the careful eye, you spy a key to the Tardis. Seeking adventures through time and space, you offer to buy the Fourth Doctor's scarf for a measly 50 gold. To your utter surprise, he agrees, taking it off and tossing it in your direction. (Grants access to Inside the Tardis.)
48. 

    The Force

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The Force is a Science Fantasy weapon that gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together. - Obi-Wan Kenobi
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
49. 

    Lightsaber

    Jun 13, 2017, Weapons

    The lightsaber is the Science Fantasy weapon of a Jedi, an elegant weapon of a more civilized age. It can be used to cut through blast doors or enemies alike. Using the Force, a Jedi can predict and deflect incoming blaster bolts, and reflect them.
    
    Star Wars inhabits the far end of the Science Fantasy spectrum. On the surface, it’s straight science fiction, awash in robots, space stations, and aliens. Where things get wonderfully muddled is in the way The Force works its quiet, mystical presence into the tableau, serving as a cross between occult philosophy and psychic ability.
50. 

    Book of LitRPG

    Jun 13, 2017, Items

    This tome of some of the best LitRPG was hand written by a team of monks in an undisclosed location. You willingly pay any amount of gold to get your hands on one of the limited edition copies. The monks were not paid for their services, and they rebelled, forming a guild. Might they offer their services as hirelings through the Dojo in the future? Possible. Other NPC character may appear too. (+50 xp for owning this item long enough.)
51. 

    Beta Blade

    Jun 11, 2017, Weapons

    The hilt looks like an eye on this blade because as a beta reader, your eagle eyes are highly valued. Buy this item to let authors and others know you're up for beta reading something until it moves no more. (Adds you to the group Beta Reader. You will get a badge.)
52. 

    Double, double toil and trouble

    Jun 9, 2017, Scrolls

    Best starting pack for witches in the land (includes a free eye of Newt) is on sale today only!
53. 

    Broadsword

    Jun 9, 2017, Weapons

    This basic broadsword will turn your postbit #F0C368.
54. 

    Gem of Flirting

    Jun 9, 2017, Items

    A small jewel to woo peasants who have never seen something sparkle
55. 

    Gem of Flirting

    Jun 9, 2017, Items

    A small jewel to woo peasants who have never seen something sparkle
56. 

    Werewolf fur

    Jun 9, 2017, Items

    Great for rituals and potions! Top quality Only! (Origin: Lupus Commonus)
57. 

    Necklace of DrOgan ToUth

    Jun 9, 2017, Armor

    Because sometimes you need to show off but you are poor and weak (Made in goblintown)
58. 

    Stat Buff

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    Feeling down? Drinking this drink will give yourself a stat buff. Doesn't actually do anything, but transfer a few gold from your pocket to mine. But it's all in how you look at it. If this were a Pokemon, you'd buy it just because. Be the first to CATCH EM' ALL!!
59. 

    AOL 6.0 CD

    Jun 6, 2017, Software

    The decryption code buried within the front-end software for America's first experience with a corporate owned internet will allow you entrance into a hidden sub-forum at LitRPG Forum.. Only rumors exist of The Metaverse, but you're sure this is the way deeper into the website. You count out the gold, hoping it's not a pirated or cursed version. There's this Dwarven Axe everyone keeps warning you about. It's only twenty gold. What could go wrong?
60. 

    Old Mac

    Jun 6, 2017, Computers

    As you bend over and peer at the screen, you wonder if the machine even works. Then you notice the familiar retro feel of the cleverly crafted hardware. (Quest: We clipped the mouse out of the photo because of where the tech came from originally. And because we needed a square image. Gold to anyone who goes to the Thieves Guild and starts a thread naming the source of the mouse technology we all use today. Well, sometimes, before we moved to our thumbs/fingers to communicate on mobile devices. Anyway, this grants access to the [Unofficial] Mac User Group in The Metaverse. It's a place for all things Apple. Enjoy your vintage Mac! (NOTE: Must also own an AOL 6.0 CD)
61. 

    Zork I

    Jun 6, 2017, Software

    You’re on the threshold of a whole new experience, for ahead of you is the extraordinary world of the Great Underground Empire. Once you step through the door to Zork, you leave the world of arcade games and trite fantasies behind and enter the dimension of your imagination. Every plot, every puzzle, every personality has been honed and perfected to make your experience uniquely realistic and involving.
62. 

    Butterfly Tattoo

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    In the back of the shop, @Felicity Weiss employs a halfling tattoo artist named Carnie who will carve an intricate design into your arm. She only does one tat which kinda looks like a butterfly-creature-thing.
    This will change your postbit to #D67AFB.
63. 

    Lich Bitch Beer

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    A dark beer with the souls of the damned swirling in the frothy drink.
    
    +2 to Stamina
    +1 to Singing skill
    Disgust Alert to any paladins/clerics within ten feet.
64. 

    Beholder Brew

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    A kaleidoscope of effects for those needing a break from reality. Please roll a 1d10 after you take a sip for effect or one will be chosen for you.
    
    1- Sing like a fallen angel +3
    2- Turn into a frog, -5 to the ladies, +5 to the gents
    3- Staff of Morning Wood. Men get +5 to bulge in their pants. Women get +10 and grow one.
    4- Natural Breast Enhancement, +5 for women. +10 for men and they grow a pair.
    5- Disco Light, +4 to Dance skill.
    6- Mustache of Attraction, +5 to attract either sex with you new mustache.
    7- Mer goggles, every one looks like a mermaid, -2 for the fish smell.
    8- Wrath of the Libido- +10 to your sick perversions you animal.
    9- Lips of fortitude, +10 to your Sucking skill.
    10- Wilting Forest- can't get hard, can't get wet, you give up on your dreams and go back to law school.
65. 

    Used Typewriter

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    This ancient machine will allow you entry into the Aspiring Writer Guild!
66. 

    Discarded Newspaper

    Jun 6, 2017, Items

    Are you a news junkie? Information hound? Want to know the whole story? This old school newspaper will open up The Newsroom here at LitRPG Forum, for people wanting a possibly edited and easily digested summary of the week's news? Or a faster pace? With this newspaper, you can join other like-minded individuals and help shape something special.
67. 

    Cloak of Beauty

    Jun 6, 2017, Armor

    This cool black cloak will make you the envy of all your peers. (Adjusts your Username Style!)
68. 

    Sword of Sands

    Jun 5, 2017, Weapons

    Featured in Human, Tower of Gates Book Two, this weapon grants you access to the Paul Bellow Guild.
69. 

    20-Sided Die

    Jun 5, 2017, Items

    This magic 20-sided die signifies that you're currently roleplaying and shouldn't be taken too seriously. Can be turned on and off. Does not expire.
70. 

    Torch

    Jun 5, 2017, Items

    A nifty torch that allows you access into the "Deep, Dark Cave" forum!