Anyone up for a game of ridiculous answers?

Discussion in 'The Tavern' started by lordnova, May 20, 2017.

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  1. lordnova

    lordnova Level 10 (Filcher) Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I dont know if this is the right place for it, or if anyone is even interested in playing, so move or delete if necessary.

    I challenge you all to a game of ridiculous answers!

    How does it work you ask?

    I'll start off by asking a question.
    You just have to answer it. The more off the wall your answer is the better. Bonus points for completely wrong yet plausible answers.
    Once you've answered the latest question, ask a question of your own to keep the game going.

    Ready? Well, lets get started!

    Why do aliens only abduct crazy people?
     
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  2. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Perfect place for it. Oops, I'm answering your OOC question first. Heh. Okay...

    Mostly hair. Something the "off" brain secretes special proteins into the hair. Proof? Grey's are bald! Seriously. Think about it.

    I mean, why do you think the aliens are messing about with our rock on the outskirts of the galaxy?
     
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  3. lordnova

    lordnova Level 10 (Filcher) Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Well, isn't it obvious? They are harvesting our world. Our world is the galaxies most abundant source of Ignoranium, which powers their star drives. They first started in the 60's, just collecting the Ignoranium that was floating around, but then quickly learned they could cultivate it. Their first experiment at cultivating Ignoranium was the release of the song Blue by Eiffel 65. It was moderately successful. They hit the jackpot a decade later, when they started producing reality TV. First they used Jersey Shore, which produced abundant amounts of Ignoranium. Then they expanded by creating Toddlers and Tiaras, and Duck Dynasty.
    The galaxy now has a surplus of Ignoranium.

    Where did all the dragons go?
     
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  4. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    What do you mean go? I talked to my attorney Fred just the other day, and he's as dragon as they come. He can't show his true form to mere mortals, of course. In fact, it's a funny story of how I came to find out he was a dragon. He'd be upset if I spilled too much out here in the open, but suffice to say, dragons are still around if you know where to look.

    Hey, by the way, was that dress blue, black, or gold?
     
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  5. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Actually, as my old buddy Rincewind would tell me, "John, are you going to pay me back that loan?" Now, that really doesn't have anything to do with the dress and also is a question and not a statement, however, he also told me that octarine is the color of magic. Octarine can only be seen by wizards and cats. I sometimes suspect that dolphins can see it, but, we all know what wankers they can be, so, we can ignore them.

    The dress was made from a discworld silk, which, in being moved onto the internet acquired more magic than normal, which turned it octarine. This would cause the varying descriptions of its color, due to the inability of mundanes to perceive octarine. Think of this as an effect similar to the emperor's new clothes. No one wants to admit they can't tell the color, so, they make one up.

    What is the reason why tornados love trailer parks?
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
  6. Jason

    Jason Troll Lord Roleplaying Shop Owner Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    What is the reason why tornados love trailer parks?[/QUOTE]

    Trailer parks are often the butt of jokes in American culture, and not the least among them is the idea that they seemingly "attract" tornadoes. A study by scientists at Indiana's Purdue University recently found that tornadoes really are more likely to hit trailer parks simply due to where they're located.Trailer parks are commonly located in these "transition zones," on the outskirts of cities where you start seeing more open fields than houses.

    As the researchers found, the thought that trailer parks are tornado magnets is partially true, but the real reason for this perception lies behind these homes' poor construction.

    While most trailer parks are located in areas that traditionally see more tornadoes (and, subsequently, a higher risk to get hit by one), the idea that trailer parks are tornado magnets stems from the fact that mobile homes are extremely susceptible to damage in a severe thunderstorm.
    Trailers/mobile homes are not built very well. The materials used are usually pretty cheap, and the entire home is prefabricated and anchored to a lot once someone buys it. Trailer parks suffer heavy damage in even weak tornadoes because the homes are just not able to withstand the wind and flying debris. It's for this reason why the National Weather Service explicitly tells people to flee mobile homes when they issue a tornado warning.

    The next time tornadoes touch down in your area, listen to the local news and see how often you hear reports of damage to a trailer park compared to other homes nearby. Odds are, the single-family homes will have significantly less damage than the mobile homes.


    A true mystery of the ages.... which came first, the chicken or egg?
     
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  7. lordnova

    lordnova Level 10 (Filcher) Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Ah that one is simple. It's also the reason I knock on every door before I open it.

    You see, this one time, I was out drinking with my pal Foghorn Leghorn. And well, roosters can't hold their liquor. I offered to call his missus, but he insisted that she was out of town visiting her sister.
    So I took the drunken rooster home, and dragged him into his house. Being a good friend, I didn't just leave him face down in the entryway. I carried him to his room. Upon opening the door to his bedroom, I was confronted by a sight that I shall never forget. Now matter how hard I try. There was ol' Humpty Dumpty, on top of Missus Leghorn.
    You want to talk disturbing? You haven't seen disturbing, until you see a 6' tall eggman's O face!



    Why do hotdogs come in packs of 10, while hotdog buns come in packs of 8?
     
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  8. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Why do hotdogs come in packs of 10, while hotdog buns come in packs of 8?

    The reason has to do with numerology and esoteric metaphysics. In Bavarian Press's text, Packaging and the Sacred Magic of Abramelin, it states, "Only through the combination of Feng Shui and the underlying principals of Sacred Geometry can true packaging occur".

    Hot dog buns, by their combination of all the elements, earth from wheat, water from mixing, fire from cooking and air from spongy nooks, are considered to be all elements. This combination raises it from the realm of its parts, and into a higher realm of being. In order for the packaging to be perfected in sacred geometry, they must be placed in groups of eight. Eight is a symbolization of stepping into a higher realm, with, eight on its side representing infinity,

    Hot Dogs themselves are a symbol of closure. The life of the animal has ended, the cycle of life has reached its peak, and so the packaging is ten. We see here the closure inherent in the number ten, however, ten is writ as one and zero, 10. When combined in a numerological manner, it converts into 1. One is the number of beginnings. So, we see in the packaging of hot dogs, both the numbering of ending and beginning.

    Hot dog buns represent the combination of all the elements into a higher form, which is represented by packaging in eights.

    Hot dogs themselves are a symbol of the circle of life, represented by being packaged in 10.

    The two packages represent the metaphysical concept that, when combined, form the concept of evolutionary reincarnation, where the two cycles will require many turnings of the wheel of karma until they match in a transcendent one true hot dog, the ending of both and their completion into Hot Dog Buddhahood.

    I will admit, some of this is also from the writings of the sage Oscar Meyer in his Liber Hot Dog, the psychonomicon of lunch with mustard.

    Are coconuts migratory?
     
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  9. Jason

    Jason Troll Lord Roleplaying Shop Owner Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Are coconuts migratory?[/QUOTE]

    In a word, yes.

    Everyone knows that they were dispersed by giant sharknado's in the early Mesozoic era arounda.. 256 Ma. Prehistoric coconuts were parasitic. In their larval form, which we are used to seeing in supermarkets today, they would fall from trees and roll into the ocean. Once in the sea they would float around in search of a host shark to infest, prehistoric sharks being preferred. Once inside the sharks they would enter their pups phase of life and remain to live out the rest of their days. Once the pups coconuts developed into adults, the sharks brain would be pushed out it's nose and the adult coconut would take over all brain functions.

    Once every 1000 years the adult coconuts with hosts would perform a migratory ritual. Swimming in circles to form Super Sharknado's, they would travel across the globe seeking breeding grounds. Once a suitable location was found the Sharknado was brought to terminal velocity and the coconut sharks would eject themselves towards the ground. With the combination of mass and velocity, they would impact burying themselves. The decaying shark would then serve as a source of nutrients for the future growth of more coconuts. Sadly with the introduction and evolution of mankind, the coconuts have ceased all migration in a protest to the ignorance of mother nature to ever concoct a race of beings stupid enough to believe anything I just wrote, and consequently, your dumb ass just read.


    If our knees bent the other direction, what would chairs look like?
     
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  10. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Have you heard about string theory? Or m-theory? The multiple dimension theory? Well, if not, don't worry. That has nothing to do with your question. When it comes to furniture, specifically chairs of the sitting variety, it's all about proper use of the elbows. Before I go further, let me point out that this doesn't apply when referring to Quadfrangs from the Mufflebox galaxy. No, they have no joints at all, and would find your question highly offensive. The Quadfrangs don't play. I mean, literally, they can't play much because the lack joints. They kind of just hang around, observing the universe around them and thinking as symbiotic ant-creatures sacrifice themselves to keep the creature fed.

    Now, to get back to your question, if our knees bent the other direction, we would obviously be in another dimension (let's refer to this as dimension Q). Now, if we posit thoughtfully (long and hard), we can imagine (perhaps) what our knees bending in the other direction would mean for the rest of our bodies. And therein lies the key to this little word puzzle question thing of yours. The chairs in your mind may differ significantly from the actual orientation of said chair in dimension Q or any of the other dimensions. With all that said, if we go back to the Quadfrangs (who have no joints at all), we're left with another conundrum.

    8===D is this a shovel or crying smiley face? So confused?
     
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  11. WildAzazel

    WildAzazel Death's TP Supplier LitRPG Author Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Often confused with a crying smiley or a shovel, I can tell you with my axe in one hand, my shovel in the other and my masters in archeology and ancient text deciphering that this is millennia old hieroglyph that tells less of an interesting story as it is still common among today's population but gives more insight to mans ego and mating rituals if you know what I am getting at. It appears that amongst other things that are misinterpreted, someone thought it would be funny to insert an inside joke in a new "language", that which we call internet short hand. But it isn't to say that there isn't more than one meaning. While those amateurs were eager to scream c*** & balls in your face, it actually pulls from an older theory that states, shield your balls before your sword, for a broken sword can still be used where broken balls are rendered useless.

    Is it possible for the human brain to decipher braille backwards if the reader doesn't know it before hand? Or to still understand something in braille that is mispelled?
     
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  12. Jason

    Jason Troll Lord Roleplaying Shop Owner Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    8===D is this a shovel or crying smiley face? So confused?[/QUOTE]


    Your self portrait? Jajajaja
     
  13. Felicity Weiss

    Felicity Weiss Musey Muse Muse Shop Owner Citizen

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    It's a rocket ship. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd post.

     
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
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  14. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Ahem.

    Is it possible for the human brain to decipher braille backwards if the reader doesn't know it before hand? Or to still understand something in braille that is mispelled?

    ;)
     
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  15. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    When you say "braille," I assume you mean American Braille, which is a bit different than, say, Latvanian Braile. In any case, before I go any further with my answer, I have to point out the use of the words before and hand when talking about braille. An intentional attempt to sway my potential answer of your question? Additionally, I must point out your other joke - i.e. the intentional misspelling of mispelled.

    All that out of the way, your question is simple to answer. Have you ever read the short story Cathedrals by Raymond Carver? If not, check it out. As a literary look at the question of blindness, the ultimate answer may lie buried between the lines, if you know what I mean. Hidden, as it were, but still completely and undeniably able to be "understood" or even, indeed, "read" before "hand" or if the words are "mispelled." Certainly, however, other professors may have a different answer.

    What lies at the bottom of black holes?
     
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  16. Jason

    Jason Troll Lord Roleplaying Shop Owner Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    What lies at the bottom of black holes?[/QUOTE]

    That isn't a question you need to be asking. Consider yourself warned.


    Blonde, Brunette, or Redhead... which are more fun?
     
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  17. WildAzazel

    WildAzazel Death's TP Supplier LitRPG Author Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Brunette has always been my taste. Ive found blondes to be vindictive and redheads to be batshit crazy. But this isn't a question that I should be answering. Could have used a warning before hand. Its proven that the souls of each contribute to various stat increases tho so depending on what you are building and what you can tolerate, any may be worth it. As a Rogue, I needed a boost instealth and brunettes give a +8 to blend.

    Sharp cheddar &beer or bacon for the rest of your life? only 1, the other will kill you instantly.
     
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  18. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member LitRPG Author Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Are we talking turkey bacon or the real thing? I'll assume you meant pig-bacon. While nice, fried pieces of a pig don't compare with a frosty mug of beer and taco salad with a generous helping of sharp cheddar. By your lack of distinguishing turkey-bacon and pig-bacon as well as your failure to mention any other cheese besides cheddar (of the sharp variety), I have to question your sincerity in asking the question. Were you just about to go to dinner and needed my expertise to decide on a burger and beer or BLT?

    Here's my question.

    Who coined the phrase, No battle plan survives contact with the enemy?
     
  19. Seagrim

    Seagrim Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    That was actually Jeremy Bigfellow, a proctologist in London England. He was the official, By Her Majesty's Order, Appointed Proctologist to Parliment. The main duties that he performed were to ensure that Parliment never was too full of shit. This duty he performed for years, until his forced retirement during the London Blitz of WW2. During a massive planning session of the war effort, Bigfellow was called in in an emergency. Admiral Lipsnitz, Prime Polisher of the Handle of the Big Front Door had developed a dangerous level of being full of shit. That night, it was a terrible bombing attack by the Germans, forcing a major blackout. Bigfellow bravely pushed his way through the chaos, however, when he arrived, an error was made. Instead of administering the needed procedure to the Admiral, it was accidentally administered to General Armband Thruster, who at the time was planning part of the invasion of Europe at Calais, to be led by General Patton. Unfortunately, General Thruster had a massive explosion of shit, which completely destroyed the plans, necessitating activation of the fallback attack at Normandy. When asked what happened Dr. Bigfellow replied,"No battle plan survives contact with the enema". General Patton remarked,' There is no way the bastards of the press would repeat that shit, change it to enemy!"

    Since we're in WW2, What is considered the most crucial event of the war?
     
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  20. WildAzazel

    WildAzazel Death's TP Supplier LitRPG Author Roleplaying Shop Owner Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    When President Jason revealed he was a Nazi sympathizer and detonated half our nuclear arsenal where they sat. The U.S. may never be as strong as we once were but VP W. Azazel gave us a great shot and is only by his leadership that we are still in the war, much less still alive. I named my son after him.

    Do you think there will ever be a bigger traitor than that Jason fellow? Can you believe the pictures that got out of his face after Azazel shot him with the Face/Ass rearranger lazer hand cannon. He was ass ugly. Suffocation by lung outlet misplacement has to suck!
     
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