RANT Let's talk about: The Hobbit trilogy

Discussion in 'TV and Movies' started by Yuli Ban, Sep 22, 2018.

  1. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    WOW. So I just watched this.
    Holy shit. The last time I've ever been this bored watching a movie, I was 8 years old and Anakin had just professed to Padme his disdain for silicate grains.
    Now stretch that boredom out over a trilogy that is cinematically competent at creating decent characters but just has nothing to say. It's amazing how movies about elves, dwarves, hobbits, and other magical creatures filled with intense action and impassioned drama feel so lifeless and lethargic. Not at any point did I care about what was happening or to whom it was happening. I didn't even care about myself by the end of it.

    It hurts so much.

    Why.

    Why does it hurt so much?
     
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2018
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  2. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    And the fart jokes. Heh. I think The Hobbit was made for kids? Teens, maybe?

     
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  3. Berserk

    Berserk Level 9 (Burgler) Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    There's a good fan edit from Maple Films that cuts the three movies down into one that tries to stay faithful to the book. Gets rid of added filler like the whole dwarf - elf - elf love triangle.
     
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  4. Windfall

    Windfall Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    It was disappointing, which is sad, because it did look lovely.
     
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  5. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    It's the inevitable result of trying to stretch a single book out into a trilogy of films. Not even Bendystraw Crumpetsnatcher could save it from itself.
     
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  6. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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  7. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    So I'm reading through The Hobbit right now. HOW. THE F**K. WERE THEY SO DELUDED. TO INCLUDE. A LOVE TRIANGLE.

    HOW.

    What were they smoking, high-elf dung?!
     
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  8. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    The producers were probably thinking "How can we stretch this one book into another film trilogy? Oh! I've got it! People loved Legolas, so let's put in some more elves. And people loved Twilight, so how about a forbidden romance love triangle?"
     
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  9. RedCulver

    RedCulver Level 6 (Footpad) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    So, I actually love the first one. Obviously the original LotR movies are pretty great, but they take themselves very seriously and sometimes it veers into unintentional comedy. The first Hobbit movie didn’t take itself so seriously, which I thought was appropriate, plus it had some songs and stuff.

    The second one was a bad omen— no real arc, just a bunch of scenes strung together— though I lived in a Nashville at the time and Taylor Swift was at the midnight opening I went to.

    The third was unbearable, other than Billy Connolly as Dain Ironfoot, Warhammer dwarf.
     
  10. Windfall

    Windfall Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen

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    Yeah. The first one captured at least some of the spirit of the book and I thought it was well done (not perfect, but the scene with Bilbo bursting out of the Shire to go on an adventure was wonderful -- and the Dwarves' song <3)
     
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  11. RedCulver

    RedCulver Level 6 (Footpad) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Yes, exactly! And I’ll admit that the opening cameo of Holm and Wood got me right in the feels as well.
     
  12. Jason Maskell

    Jason Maskell Level 10 (Filcher) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I watched bits of these movies on an airplane and they were ridiculous.

    That said, I also liked Fellowship (mostly) and hated the other two more and more. I nearly walked out of Return of the King. So much hollywood bullshit in those movies. It ramped up in each movie and got really bad in ROTK.

    Not just the stupid inserts like Liv Tyler, but the screwing with events and characters really pissed me off. Faramir is a bad guy now? f**k off. Sam has a last minute falling out with Frodo where Frodo sides with Gollum? f**k off. Elves are superheros that can defeat whole armies and dwarves are comic relief? f**k off.

    I hope that one day desktop movie tech gets to such a degree that someone can actually do a version of LOTR that doesn't suck and fully respects the source material. Jackson is and was a hack. It showed clearly in the Hobbit, and a bit less so in the LOTR movies.
     
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  13. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I'd love to see that fan edit.
     
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  14. Berserk

    Berserk Level 9 (Burgler) Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    I thought that Return of the King was the best of the original trilogy. I still find myself humming that song that Pippin sung while Faramir and his knights did their suicide charge. Perhaps the Amazon series will be more to your liking?

    The Hobbit trilogy though was disappointing. It should have been delayed but Warner Bros was too greedy. Jackson came in late to replace Del Toro and through and everything he did. That meant that they had to film the movies while Jackson was writing them to stay on time. It was a giant snafu
     
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  15. Yuli Ban

    Yuli Ban Level 18 (Magician) LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Here's a collection of fan-edits. The one everyone refers to as the definitive one, however, is the Tolkien Edit. But I believe you do need to download it and it's a fairly hefty size.

     
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  16. R.M. Soderlund

    R.M. Soderlund Level 7 (Cutpurse) Citizen

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    The YouTube video essayist "Just Write" does a fantastic five-part series analyzing the Hobbit films... Totally makes you feel vindicated watching it :)
    (It's also, a fantastic channel for writing advice.)

    Not sure how to hyperlink, so cut+paste if you are interested...

     
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  17. Paul Bellow

    Paul Bellow Forum Game Master Staff Member Shop Owner LitRPG Author Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    It magically embeds them for ya! ;)
     
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  18. Viergacht

    Viergacht Thunderdragon Roleplaying LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    Those films were the classic case of trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. There was good stuff in them just because so many talented people were involved but the whole concept of trying to take a children's fantasy novel and stretch it into a 3-hour dramatic epic was too flawed from the get-go to ever succeed . . . I doubt in 30 years that anyone but the nerdiest of nerds will rewatch them. I'm also sure someone will have tackled it again - how many goddamn Spider Men and Jungle Books have we gotten lately?
     
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  19. Jay

    Jay Hiatus. LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Aspiring Writer

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    You know, I have honestly purged pretty much everything about that trilogy from my brain but Azog (because he was cool) and his awesome white Warg Mother. And really that's just cause I like Manu Bennett a lot. I remember almost nothing else about the movies but going "Ohhh, awesome" for that villain.

    Oh and eagles throwing a giant bear into an army. That was pretty cool too.
     
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  20. CheshirePhoenix

    CheshirePhoenix Crazy Hermit on the Hill LitRPG Author Beta Reader Citizen Editor Aspiring Writer

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    And the dwarf song while they were doing the dishes.

     
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